1
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,572
Is there anything
I can do for you, monsieur?
2
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:02,953
No. No, no.
3
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:13,630
Yes, monsieur?
4
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,382
Just looking around.
5
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,440
Comrades, why should we lie
to each other? It's wonderful.
6
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:38,197
Let's be honest.
Have we anything like it in Russia?
7
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,402
No.
8
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:42,318
Can you imagine what the beds would be
in a hotel like that?
9
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,863
They tell me when you ring once,
the valet comes in.
10
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,826
When you ring twice, you get a waiter.
11
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,708
And do you know what happens
when you ring three times?
12
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,836
A maid comes in. A French maid.
13
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,874
Comrades, if we ring nine times--
Let's go in.
14
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,213
Just a minute.
15
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,970
I have nothing against the idea,
but I still say...
16
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,050
...let's go back to the Hotel Terminus.
17
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:06,718
Moscow made our reservations there.
We are on an official mission...
18
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,728
...and we have no right
to change the orders of our superiors.
19
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,514
Where is your courage, Buljanoff?
20
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,024
Are you the Buljanoff
who fought on the barricades?
21
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,310
Now you are afraid
to take a room with a bath?
22
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:19,697
- I don't want to go to Siberia.
- I don't want to go to Hotel Terminus.
23
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,231
And I don't want to...
24
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,448
- No, no.
- Listen to me.
25
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,454
Look, Buljanoff, if Lenin were alive,
he would say:
26
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,366
"Buljanoff, comrade,
for once in your life, you're in Paris.
27
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,911
Don't be a fool.
Go in there and ring three times."
28
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,123
He wouldn't say that.
29
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,289
What he would say is:
"You can't afford to live in a cheap hotel.
30
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,300
Doesn't the prestige of the Bolsheviks
mean anything to you?
31
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,052
Do you want to live in a hotel...
32
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,714
...where you press for the hot water
and cold comes...
33
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,633
...and when you press for cold water,
nothing comes at all?"
34
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,051
Phooey, Buljanoff.
35
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,937
I still say our place
is with the common people.
36
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:55,190
But who am I to contradict Lenin?
Let's go in.
37
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,736
- Are you the manager?
- Yes, monsieur.
38
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,897
Pardon me for introducing
Comrade Iranoff...
39
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,282
- ...member of the Russian Board of Trade.
- Monsieur.
40
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,194
- This is Comrade Kopalski.
- Monsieur.
41
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,157
- And I am Comrade Buljanoff.
- Monsieur.
42
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,538
May I ask you how much your rooms are?
43
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,246
Well, gentlemen, I'm afraid
our rates are rather high.
44
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,377
Why should you be afraid? Heh.
45
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,209
I might be able to accommodate you.
46
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,999
- Is there some more luggage?
- Yes.
47
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,214
But have you a safe
big enough to hold this?
48
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,254
I'm afraid we have no boxes
of that size in the vault...
49
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,220
- ...but there's a suite with a private safe.
- That's even better.
50
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,306
- But, gentlemen, I'm afraid--
- He's always afraid.
51
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,687
I just wanted to explain.
52
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,473
The apartment may suit
your convenience...
53
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,017
...but I doubt whether
it will fit your convictions.
54
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,027
- It's the royal suite.
- The royal suite?
55
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,312
Just a minute.
56
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:45,575
Comrades, I warn you, if it gets out in
Moscow that we stay in the royal suite...
57
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,109
...we'll get into terrible trouble.
58
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,654
We just tell them we had to do it
on account of the safe.
59
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,573
That's a perfect excuse.
There was no other safe big enough.
60
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,788
- That's right.
- That's fine.
61
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,918
Of course, we could take out the pieces...
62
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,921
...and distribute them
in three or four boxes in the vault...
63
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,422
...and take a small room.
64
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:04,676
- That's an idea, isn't it?
- Yes, that's an idea.
65
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,553
But who said we have to have an idea?
66
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,760
- That's right. Ha-ha-ha.
- That's very good.
67
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,100
- Give us the royal suite.
- Step this way, please.
68
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,039
Hello.
69
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,621
Please connect me with Mercier.
Yes, the jeweler.
70
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,795
Hell--? Hello? No, I want to speak
to Monsieur Mercier personally.
71
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,334
Yes.
72
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,968
Hello, Monsieur Mercier?
73
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,800
This is Iranoff,
member of the Russian Board of Trade.
74
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:53,809
Yes, we arrived this morning.
Oh, thank you very, very much.
75
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:56,346
Yes, we have everything here.
The necklace too.
76
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,561
All 14 pieces at the... What?
77
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,771
No, Monsieur Mercier.
78
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:06,030
The court jewels of the Grand
Duchess Swana consisted of 14 pieces.
79
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,065
Why don't you check on that?
80
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:11,076
Of course, we have
all the necessary credentials.
81
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,621
Will you take care of the royal suite?
I'll be back in 10 minutes.
82
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,283
- All right, Rakonin.
- Thank you very much. Thank you.
83
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,123
- 8 rue de Chalon.
- Yeah, monsieur.
84
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,482
- Hello, Leon.
- Morning, Swana.
85
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,269
It's really a wretched morning.
Wretched. I can't get myself right.
86
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,358
I wanted to look mellow
and I look brittle.
87
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,990
My face doesn't compose well.
It's all highlights.
88
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,902
How can I dim myself down, Leon?
Suggest something.
89
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,868
Oh, I'm so bored with this face.
I wish I had someone else's face.
90
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:59,079
Whose face would you have
if you had your choice?
91
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,710
Oh, well, I guess one gets the face
one deserves.
92
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,871
There's one marvelous advantage
to your conversation.
93
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,791
However many questions you ask,
you never expect an answer.
94
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,550
- Don't you find that restful?
- Mm-hm.
95
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,132
- Good morning, darling.
- Good morning.
96
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,549
- Why didn't you come last night?
- Darling, I was looking after your interests.
97
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:15,761
Did you win?
98
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,177
We can forget horse racing,
roulette, everything.
99
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:22,019
Our worries are over. You remember
the platinum watch with the diamond numbers?
100
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:26,436
- You'll be in a position to give it to me now.
- Oh, darling, you're so good to me.
101
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,194
We could be rich, if you say the word.
I had dinner with the Guizots last night.
102
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,405
- Those awful newspaper people?
- You'd be surprised...
103
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,742
- ...how many nice people dine with the Guizots.
- Gruesome proof of the power of the press.
104
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,749
I sold Monsieur Guizot the idea
of publishing your memoirs...
105
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,580
- ...in the Gazette Parisienne.
- What?
106
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,870
The Life and Loves
of the Grand Duchess Swana.
107
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,083
Oh, Leon.
108
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,750
We won't have to worry about our future
if you're willing to raffle off your past.
109
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,382
Come in.
110
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,391
Count Rakonin asks the privilege
of a few words, Your Highness.
111
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:01,098
- Rakonin?
- He's a waiter at the Clarence, poor devil.
112
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,478
- You know him.
- Oh, yes.
113
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,731
I won't be able to see him
for half an hour.
114
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,188
The count says if it could be
as soon as possible.
115
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,603
It's luncheon time,
and he's just between courses.
116
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,067
I'll see him right away.
117
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:15,405
- I can't get myself right today--
- Count Rakonin's between courses.
118
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:18,741
- My little Volga, mwah, boatman.
- Mm.
119
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,746
- How do you do, my friend? Won't you sit?
- Your Highness.
120
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,958
- Your Highness, forgive this intrusion--
- Have you lost your job?
121
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,294
No, madame.
Something of the utmost importance.
122
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,504
- It concerns your jewels.
- My jewels?
123
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,420
I remember one birthday of His Majesty,
our beloved Czar...
124
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,463
...I had the honor of being on guard.
125
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:41,010
I still see you bending before His Majesty.
You wore your diadem and a necklace.
126
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:45,268
- Why do you bring this up now?
- They are here. Your jewels, here in Paris.
127
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:49,310
- Alexis, do you know what you're saying?
- This morning, three Soviet agents arrived.
128
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,400
I overheard a telephone conversation
with Mercier, the jeweler.
129
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,236
- They're going to sell them.
- Did I hear something about jewels?
130
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,526
Rakonin has just given me
the most amazing news.
131
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,412
You know Count d'Algout.
I must call my lawyer at once.
132
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,995
- I'm sorry, Your Highness. I have to leave.
- Thank you. I'll get in touch with you.
133
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,751
- Hello. Balzac, 2769.
- Au revoir.
134
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,251
Au revoir.
135
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,671
This is Swana.
136
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:13,505
I want to speak to Monsieur Cornillon.
It's very important. Get him right away.
137
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:18,846
Hello, Monsieur Cornillon? The most incredible
thing has happened. My jewels are in Paris.
138
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,179
Three Bolshevik swine
are trying to sell them.
139
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,093
Yes. Yes.
140
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,855
Now, we must act immediately.
Call the police, have them arrested.
141
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,891
Well, then get an injunction.
142
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,860
But do something, Monsieur Cornillon!
143
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,441
But they are my jewels.
144
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,356
There must be some way
of getting them back.
145
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:39,322
- What does he say?
- But how can there be a question?
146
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,954
Are you my lawyer or theirs?
147
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,614
Oh.
148
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:48,878
It's all right.
Yes, all right, I will call you later.
149
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,038
- What did he say?
- They're pretty hopeless.
150
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,798
There may be a chance, that's all.
151
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,379
The French government has recognized
Soviet Russia...
152
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,136
...and he doubts they will risk a war
for my poor sake.
153
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:01,970
He might be able to make up some kind
of a case, but it would cost money.
154
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,181
Money, money, that's all they are
interested in, those lawyers.
155
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,722
Darling, calm down, calm down.
Why do you need a lawyer?
156
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,231
Haven't you your little Volga boatman?
157
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,236
Very good, excellent, superb.
158
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:18,239
It'd be foolish to belittle the quality
of the merchandise...
159
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:21,527
- ...but your terms are impossible.
- My counteroffer is the maximum.
160
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:22,785
But Monsieur Mercier--
161
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,448
Gentlemen, I'm going to let you in
on a little secret.
162
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,708
We are undertaking this deal
only because of the prestige involved.
163
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:32,712
- And, frankly, we're expected to take a loss.
- Capitalistic methods.
164
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,624
They accumulate millions
by taking loss after loss.
165
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:41,217
This is Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski.
166
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,099
Who? Count d'Algout?
167
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,556
No, that must be a mistake.
168
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,811
No, we can't be disturbed.
169
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,690
No else one can meet
the figure named by my syndicate.
170
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,568
- Not under the present economic conditions.
- We can wait.
171
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,570
Do we give the impression of people
who are pressed for money?
172
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,775
Yes.
173
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,486
Let's put our cards on the table.
174
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,152
Right now, there's a Russian commission
in New York...
175
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,819
...trying to sell 15 Rembrandts.
176
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,285
There's another mortgaging
the oil fields in Baku.
177
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,573
You need money quickly.
178
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:13,040
My offer is a very fair one, and doesn't
even take advantage of your situation.
179
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,080
Just a minute.
180
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,545
- Now, listen--
- Just a minute.
181
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:27,476
- The pieces are all registered.
- I know. Thank you so much. Ha-ha-ha.
182
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:31,601
- He is cutting our throat.
- What can we do? We have to accept.
183
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:34,232
Comrades, comrades,
don't let's give in so quickly.
184
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:37,110
After all, we have to uphold
the prestige of Russia.
185
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,863
All right, let's uphold it
for another 10 minutes.
186
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,489
Yeah.
187
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:50,039
- We don't want to be disturbed.
- My name is d'Algout. I telephoned.
188
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,450
You must come in later.
189
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,835
- I want a word with Mercier.
- You can't come in.
190
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,838
Monsieur Mercier, may I introduce myself?
I'm Leon d'Algout.
191
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,215
I think had the pleasure
of meeting you in your shop.
192
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,548
I was admiring the platinum watch
with the diamond numbers.
193
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,089
- Yes, of course.
- You remember, I...
194
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,594
Oh. Glorious, aren't they?
195
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,181
- You have no right.
- I did not permit you to come in.
196
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,392
I hope you haven't closed this deal.
197
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,774
- It might bring you into trouble.
- Who are you and what do you want?
198
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:19,938
Those jewels are property of the Grand
Duchess Swana and were seized illegally.
199
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,822
I am acting for Her Highness.
Here is my power of attorney.
200
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,359
You know, Monsieur Mercier,
this is all nonsense.
201
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:28,119
These may have been the jewels
of the Grand Duchess Swana...
202
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,122
...but like all private property,
they were confiscated by the State.
203
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:34,159
We'll leave the problem of ownership
to the French courts.
204
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,829
Meanwhile, I have filed a petition
for an injunction...
205
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,839
...to prohibit you from either selling
or removing the jewels.
206
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,875
Here is a copy.
207
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:45,512
If there is anything which isn't clear,
I shall be glad to explain it.
208
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:51,392
Thank you. Gentlemen, this introduces
a new element into our negotiations.
209
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:54,270
- Until this claim is settled--
- We can call our ambassador.
210
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,602
I give you my word,
they were confiscated legally.
211
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,891
That's right.
212
00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,185
Hold on,
please try to understand my position.
213
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,525
I am not withdrawing. My offer stands.
214
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,441
When you can produce a clear title
approved by the courts...
215
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,781
...we can close the deal.
Until then, gentlemen, good day.
216
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,617
I thought it my duty to warn you.
I should have hated...
217
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,782
- ...to see you get into trouble.
- Thank you.
218
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,452
- I hope you forgive me.
- I consider myself very lucky.
219
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,370
- Good day.
- Good day, monsieur.
220
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:23,084
- You believe me, I...
- Gentlemen, how about a little lunch?
221
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:25,093
- Will you get out of here?
- Yes, get out.
222
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,675
Well, don't look so gloomy.
You may have a chance.
223
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,806
- We may have a chance?
- That's ridiculous.
224
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,216
Yes, a very slim one.
225
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:34,102
I want to be fair.
I don't deny that you might have a case.
226
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:37,310
We haven't anything to discuss with you.
We'll talk to a lawyer.
227
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,645
You talk to a lawyer and I'll talk to a judge.
228
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,981
That won't help you.
You can't intimidate us.
229
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,647
Soviet Russia will put
all its might behind this case.
230
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,782
Yes. You think because you represent
the former Grand Duchess--
231
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,068
- The Grand Duchess.
- The former Grand Duchess.
232
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,738
At any rate, gentlemen,
a charming, exquisite woman.
233
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:56,533
I warn you, if this case comes to trial,
it will be before a French court.
234
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:58,793
And when the Grand Duchess
takes the stand--
235
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,921
Go ahead, get her on the witness stand.
What can she say?
236
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,923
But how will she look?
237
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,380
The fashions this spring
are very becoming to her.
238
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,797
Gentlemen, the judge will be French,
the jury will be French...
239
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,136
...everybody in the courtroom
will be French.
240
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,644
Have you ever seen a French court when
a beautiful woman sits on the stand...
241
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,770
...and raises her skirt a little?
242
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:21,649
You sit down and pull up your pants
and where would it get you?
243
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:25,145
I suppose you expect us
to hand over the jewels, huh?
244
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:28,156
Oh, no, I'm not a highwayman,
just a nuisance.
245
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,988
All I want to do is make things
as difficult as possible.
246
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:35,247
Not that we are giving in one inch,
but tell us what is in your mind?
247
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,451
Yeah.
248
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,742
- What about my proposition?
- What proposition?
249
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,082
I just said, "Let's have some lunch."
250
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:10,508
- Hey, Sasha, Sergei, Misha.
- What? What do you want?
251
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:11,713
What can we do for you?
252
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,550
That telegram from Moscow,
why should you bother about it?
253
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,341
- I've written it for you.
- Leon, Leonitchka.
254
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:21,227
- Why are you so good to us?
- Why are you so good to us?
255
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,764
That's very nice, boys.
Now, wait a minute.
256
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,228
What was the name
of that Commissar on the Board of Trade?
257
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,437
Razinin.
258
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,569
Commissar Razinin,
Board of Trade, Moscow.
259
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,401
- You wouldn't like Razinin.
- No, he's a bad man.
260
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,283
- He sends people to Siberia.
- We don't like Razinin.
261
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,909
- No.
- We don't like him.
262
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,865
We like Leon. Don't we like Leon?
263
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,530
Yes!
264
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:46,127
Wait a minute.
Now wait a minute, how's this?
265
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:50,416
"Commissar Razinin, Board of Trade,
Moscow. Unexpected situation here.
266
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,755
Grand Duchess Swana in Paris,
claims jewels...
267
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,762
...and has already brought injunction
against sale or removal.
268
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,094
After long and serious study...
269
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,884
...we suggest, in the interest
of our beloved country...
270
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:04,930
...a fifty-fifty settlement as best solution.
Iranoff, Buljanoff, and Kopalski."
271
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,599
If we say that, Leon,
we'll be sent to Siberia.
272
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,519
- And if we have to go to Siberia--
- I will send you a muff.
273
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,939
Leon, why are you so good to us?
274
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,693
Comrade waiter!
275
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,332
Why are you so good to us?
276
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,623
Get the champagne to the other room.
277
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,788
That's enough. Go along.
278
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:33,379
- Take this to the telegraph office at once.
- Yes, monsieur.
279
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:52,235
Hello. Yes, Leon. What is it, Leon?
280
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,989
Oh, you can't hurry such things.
You must give Moscow a little time.
281
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,819
There's nothing we can do about it.
282
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,359
Why don't you drop in later?
283
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,073
Yes, au revoir.
284
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,079
- Misha!
- What's the matter?
285
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,957
Telegram from Moscow.
It must have been here all day.
286
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,834
"Halt negotiations immediately.
287
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,838
Envoy Extraordinary arrives Thursday
5:20 pm. with full power.
288
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,670
Your authority canceled herewith.
Razinin."
289
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,835
- It is Thursday.
- It's 5:00 already.
290
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,300
I always said it would be Siberia.
291
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,726
Give me the desk, please.
292
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,353
This is the royal suite,
Iranoff speaking.
293
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,890
Listen, a special envoy
is coming from Moscow today.
294
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,432
He'll occupy the royal suite.
295
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,069
Move our things
to the smallest room you've got.
296
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,275
Yes. Right away, instantly.
297
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,567
Pass, please.
298
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:49,034
Now this is a fine thing.
Maybe we've missed him already.
299
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,624
How can we find somebody
without knowing what he looks like?
300
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,469
That must be the one.
301
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,883
- Yes, he looks like a comrade.
- Yes.
302
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,273
- No, that's not him.
- Positively not.
303
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,610
- What are we going to do now?
- I don't know.
304
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:25,369
We must have missed him.
305
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,333
I'm looking
for Michael Simonovitch Iranoff.
306
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,047
I am Michael Simonovitch Iranoff.
307
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,588
I am Nina Ivanovna Yakushova,
Envoy Extraordinary...
308
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:45,473
...acting under direct orders
of Comrade Commissar Razinin.
309
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,179
Present me to your colleagues.
310
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,684
- Comrade Buljanoff.
- Comrade.
311
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,640
- Comrade Kopalski.
- Comrade.
312
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:54,024
What a charming idea for Moscow
to surprise us with a lady comrade.
313
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,776
If we had known,
we would have greeted you with flowers.
314
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,937
Don't make an issue of my womanhood.
315
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:02,779
We are here for work, all of us.
Let's not waste any time. Shall we go?
316
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,488
Porter, here, please.
317
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,528
What do you want?
318
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,663
- May I have your bags, madame?
- Why?
319
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:11,621
- He is a porter, he wants to carry them.
- Why?
320
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:15,287
- Why should you carry other people's bags?
- Well, that's my business, madame.
321
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,126
That's no business. That's social injustice.
322
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,461
That depends on the tip.
323
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:22,673
- Allow me, comrade.
- No. No, thank you.
324
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,755
- Ticket, please.
- Tickets, please. Tickets.
325
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:28,926
- How are things in Moscow?
- Very good.
326
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:31,970
The last mass trials were a great success.
327
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:35,732
There are going to be fewer
but better Russians.
328
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,365
What's that?
329
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,947
It's a hat, comrade. A woman's hat.
330
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,907
How can such a civilization survive...
331
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,415
...which permits their women
to put things like that on their heads?
332
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,293
It won't be long now, comrades.
333
00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:00,753
This is the apartment we have reserved
for you, Comrade Yakushova.
334
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,382
I hope you like it.
335
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,884
Which part of the room is mine?
336
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:12,059
Heh. You see, comrade,
it's a little different here.
337
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:16,439
They don't rent rooms in pieces.
We had to take the whole suite.
338
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:32,618
- How much does this cost?
- Two thousand francs.
339
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,124
- A week?
- A day.
340
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,752
Do you know how much a cow costs,
Comrade Iranoff?
341
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:40,755
- A cow?
- Two thousand francs.
342
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:45,589
If I stay here a week,
I will cost the Russian people seven cows.
343
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:49,589
Who am I to cost the Russian people
seven cows?
344
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,804
We had to take it on account of the safe.
345
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,934
For ourselves, we are much happier now...
346
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:57,768
...since we moved to a little room
right next to the servants' quarters.
347
00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,934
I'm ashamed to put a picture of Lenin
in a room like this.
348
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:04,229
- Do you want to be alone, comrade?
- No.
349
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:09,576
Comrades, your telegram was received
with great disfavor in Moscow.
350
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:10,906
We did our best, comrade.
351
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,414
I hope so, for your sake.
Let's examine the case.
352
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,915
- What does the lawyer say?
- Which lawyer?
353
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:19,248
You didn't get legal advice?
354
00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:22,083
We dealt directly with the representative
of the Grand Duchess.
355
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:25,216
I am sure if you call him,
he will give you a very clear picture.
356
00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:27,002
I will not repeat your mistake.
357
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:31,093
I will have no dealings with
the Grand Duchess nor her representative.
358
00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:39,229
- Comrade Buljanoff?
- Yes, comrade?
359
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,108
Do you spell Buljanoff
with one or two F's?
360
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:46,195
With two F's, if you please.
361
00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:52,401
Have you some cigarettes?
362
00:22:56,667 --> 00:23:01,082
This is the royal suite.
Please send up some cigarettes. Yes.
363
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,330
You just telephone
and you get what you want.
364
00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:07,216
That's the capitalistic system. Ha-ha-ha.
365
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:10,219
Comrades, I am not in a position
to pass final judgment.
366
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,756
But at best you've been careless
in your duty to the State.
367
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:17,018
You were entrusted with more
than a mere sale of jewelry.
368
00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:20,680
Why are we peddling our precious
possessions to the world at this time?
369
00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:24,146
Our next year's crop is in danger
and you know it.
370
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,358
Unless we can get foreign currency
to buy tractors...
371
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:29,818
...there will not be enough bread
for our people.
372
00:23:29,992 --> 00:23:32,780
- And you, comrades--
- We did it with the best intentions.
373
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:35,945
We can't feed the Russian people
on your intentions.
374
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:39,241
Fifty percent to a so-called Grand Duchess.
375
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,580
Half of every loaf of bread to our enemy.
376
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,744
- Comrade Kopalski.
- Yes, comrade.
377
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:47,461
Go at once to our embassy and get me
the address of the best lawyer in Paris.
378
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:50,627
- Yes, comrade.
- You, Comrade Iranoff, go to the public library...
379
00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:53,387
...and get me the section
of the Civil Code on property.
380
00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:56,219
- Is there anything I can do, comrade?
- Yes.
381
00:23:56,393 --> 00:23:58,885
You might get me
an accurate map of Paris.
382
00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:02,021
I want to use my spare time
to inspect public utilities...
383
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:05,729
...and to make a study of all outstanding
technical achievements in the city.
384
00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:06,938
Yes, comrade.
385
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:09,983
Come in.
386
00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:12,982
- Hello. Cigarettes?
- Hello.
387
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,073
- Hello.
- Hello.
388
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:24,536
Comrades, you must
have been smoking a lot.
389
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:31,751
Desk. Yes, Monsieur Kopalski.
390
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:33,886
You are expecting Count d'Algout? Uh-huh.
391
00:24:34,056 --> 00:24:36,969
But he is not to go to the royal suite
under any circumstances.
392
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:41,010
He should go to your new room, 985.
Thank you, monsieur.
393
00:25:02,918 --> 00:25:05,751
- You, please.
- Hm? Me?
394
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:07,958
Could you give me some information?
395
00:25:08,132 --> 00:25:11,921
- Gladly.
- How long must we wait here?
396
00:25:12,094 --> 00:25:15,212
Well, uh, until the policeman blows
his whistle again.
397
00:25:15,389 --> 00:25:18,177
- At what intervals does he whistle?
- What?
398
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:21,559
How many minutes between
the first and second whistle?
399
00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:25,396
You know, that's very funny.
I never thought of that before.
400
00:25:25,566 --> 00:25:27,933
You've never been caught
in a similar situation?
401
00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:31,398
Yes, I have. Now that I come
to think about it, it's staggering.
402
00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:35,110
Good heavens, if I add it all up, I must
have spent years waiting for signals.
403
00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:38,402
Imagine, an important part of my life
wasted between whistles.
404
00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:40,570
- In other words, you don't know?
- No.
405
00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:44,036
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
406
00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:03,476
Can I be of any assistance to you?
407
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,727
- You might hold this for me.
- I'd love to.
408
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:07,605
Correct me if I am wrong.
409
00:26:07,775 --> 00:26:11,894
- We are facing north, aren't we?
- Facing north?
410
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:15,280
I'd hate to commit myself
without my compass.
411
00:26:15,449 --> 00:26:19,408
- Pardon me, are you an explorer?
- No, I am looking for the Eiffel Tower.
412
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,945
Good heavens, is that thing lost again?
413
00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:24,830
Oh, are you interested in a view?
414
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,958
I'm interested in the Eiffel Tower
from a technical standpoint.
415
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:29,243
Technical?
416
00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:32,083
No, I'm afraid I couldn't be of much help
from that angle.
417
00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:35,466
A Parisian only goes to the tower
in moments of despair to jump off.
418
00:26:35,636 --> 00:26:38,253
How long does it take a man to land?
419
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:43,258
Now isn't that too bad?
The last time I jumped, I forgot to time it.
420
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:46,894
Let me see now, the Eiffel Tower... Ah.
421
00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:48,680
Your finger, please.
422
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:53,726
- Why do you need my finger?
- It's bad manners to point with your own.
423
00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:56,979
There, the Eiffel Tower.
424
00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:58,318
And where are we?
425
00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:00,654
Where are we? Now, let me see.
Where are we?
426
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,114
Oh, here we are.
427
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,904
There you are and here am I.
428
00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:06,163
Feel“?
429
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:09,917
I'm interested only in the shortest
distance between these two points.
430
00:27:10,087 --> 00:27:13,000
- Must you flirt?
- Well, I don't have to, but I find it natural.
431
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,585
- Suppress it.
- I'll try.
432
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:16,999
For my own information...
433
00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:20,511
...would you call your approach toward me
typical of the local morale?
434
00:27:20,681 --> 00:27:23,173
It is that approach
which has made Paris what it is.
435
00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:25,261
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?
436
00:27:25,435 --> 00:27:28,018
Nothing's happened recently
to shake my self-confidence.
437
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:31,351
I have heard of the arrogant male
in capitalistic society.
438
00:27:31,525 --> 00:27:35,018
It is having a superior earning power
that makes you that way.
439
00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:38,278
A Russian. I love Russians.
440
00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:42,863
Comrade, I've been fascinated
by your Five-Year Plan for the last 15 years.
441
00:27:43,036 --> 00:27:46,449
Your type will soon be extinct.
442
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,917
Taxi!
443
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:18,186
Can you tell me the exact width
of the foundation...
444
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:22,197
- ...on which these piers are resting?
- You don't have to worry. The thing is safe.
445
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:25,234
- I am not afraid--
- "The foundation is 141 yards square."
446
00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:27,870
- I hope you'll forgive me, but I thought--
- Go on.
447
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,374
Ahem. "Four massive pieces of masonry
are sunk to a depth of 46 feet...
448
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:34,251
...on the side of the Seine,
and 29.5 feet on the other side.
449
00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:37,334
The girders of interlaced ironwork,
which stay the structure...
450
00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:39,293
...have an inclination of 54 degrees."
451
00:28:39,468 --> 00:28:41,584
- That's a strange angle.
- Yes, very strange.
452
00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:45,175
"Ascending to the first platform
is a staircase consisting of...
453
00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:49,138
...829 steps.
454
00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:54,184
And an additional 254 steps
to the very top.
455
00:28:54,358 --> 00:28:57,020
There's an elevator included
in the price of admission."
456
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,106
It'll take you hours to walk up there.
457
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,521
The elevator will get you up
in three minutes.
458
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:36,689
You gave me some very
valuable information. Thank you.
459
00:29:37,150 --> 00:29:41,860
Thank you for getting me up here.
I've never seen this before.
460
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:44,772
- Beautiful, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.
461
00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:47,783
I'm glad I saw it before becoming extinct.
462
00:29:47,953 --> 00:29:52,038
Now don't misunderstand me.
I do not hold your frivolity against you.
463
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:54,790
As basic material, you may not be bad.
464
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,998
But you are the unfortunate product
of a doomed culture.
465
00:29:58,171 --> 00:29:59,878
I feel very sorry for you.
466
00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:03,382
Aw, but you must admit
that this doomed old civilization sparkles.
467
00:30:03,552 --> 00:30:05,884
Look at it. It glitters.
468
00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:09,888
I do not deny its beauty,
but it's a waste of electricity.
469
00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,344
What a city.
470
00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:14,977
There are the grand boulevards
blasted out of the heart of the old city.
471
00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:17,809
The Arc de Triomphe,
built to greet Napoleon's army.
472
00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:21,271
The Opera. Montparnasse. Montmartre.
473
00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:26,731
And now, I'll Show you
the greatest attraction of all.
474
00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:29,320
It'll cost me a franc, but it's worth it.
475
00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:32,486
The most unique spot in all Paris.
Really, I'm not exaggerating.
476
00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:35,497
It's wonderful. It's charming. It's... Ah.
477
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,249
Please.
478
00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:41,749
What do you see?
479
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:45,382
I see a house. Looks like any other house.
480
00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:48,340
- What's remarkable about it?
- Oh, it's not the structure.
481
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:50,845
It's the spirit that dwells within it.
482
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:54,134
It has three rooms and a kitchenette
dedicated to hospitality.
483
00:30:54,311 --> 00:30:57,895
- So it's your house? Mm.
- Well, let's say I live in it.
484
00:30:58,065 --> 00:31:01,353
It's such a pleasant little place.
It has all the comforts.
485
00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:03,938
Easy to reach,
near the subway, bus, and streetcar--
486
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:07,525
- Does it mean you want me to go there?
- Now, please, don't misunderstand me.
487
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:09,861
- Then you don't want me to go there?
- No, no, no.
488
00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:12,527
I didn't say that either.
Nothing would please me more.
489
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,411
Then why don't we go?
490
00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:17,949
You might be an interesting
subject of study.
491
00:31:18,919 --> 00:31:20,250
PM do my best.
492
00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:29,714
- Good evening, Gaston.
- Good evening.
493
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:32,129
- Is this what you call the "butler"?
- Yes.
494
00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:34,048
Good evening, comrade.
495
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:37,309
This man is very old.
You shouldn't make him work.
496
00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:40,722
- He takes good care of that.
- He looks sad. Do you whip him?
497
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,015
No, but the mere thought
makes my mouth water.
498
00:31:43,193 --> 00:31:45,400
The day will come when you will be free.
499
00:31:45,570 --> 00:31:49,188
Go to bed, little father.
We want to be alone.
500
00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:51,277
Please.
501
00:31:51,701 --> 00:31:54,318
Count d'Algout,
there have been several telephone calls.
502
00:31:54,496 --> 00:31:56,533
Go to bed, little father.
503
00:32:12,973 --> 00:32:16,091
- Now, may I offer you a drink?
- Thank you, I'm not thirsty.
504
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:17,429
Perhaps something to eat.
505
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:20,094
I've had all the calories
necessary for today.
506
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:21,558
Yes, all the calories.
507
00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:24,143
- What do we do now?
- Uh...
508
00:32:24,818 --> 00:32:27,810
- Shall we have some music?
- Is that customary?
509
00:32:27,988 --> 00:32:30,195
Mm. It helps.
510
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:33,528
It has ever since King David
wooed Bathsheba with his harp.
511
00:32:33,702 --> 00:32:37,286
Not being so fortunate as to have
my harp at hand, I'll turn on the radio.
512
00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:51,755
If there's anything you'd like to study,
please go ahead. I've nothing to conceal.
513
00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:55,046
This is my desk, these are my books,
and here am I.
514
00:32:55,223 --> 00:32:56,304
Where shall we begin?
515
00:32:56,475 --> 00:32:58,762
- I will start with you.
- Excellent.
516
00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:01,973
Now, let's see, I'm 35 years old,
just over 6 feet tall...
517
00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:04,559
...and weigh 182 pounds, stripped.
518
00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:08,271
- What is your profession?
- My profession?
519
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:11,358
Mmm. Keeping my body fit,
keeping my mind alert...
520
00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:14,398
...and keeping the landlord appeased,
that's a full-time job.
521
00:33:14,576 --> 00:33:18,240
- And what do you do for mankind?
- For mankind?
522
00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:22,281
Yes, uh, not so much for mankind.
523
00:33:22,459 --> 00:33:25,747
But for womankind,
my record isn't quite so bleak.
524
00:33:25,921 --> 00:33:28,379
You are something
we do not have in Russia.
525
00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:30,380
Thank you. Glad you told me.
526
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:33,338
That's why I believe
in the future of my country.
527
00:33:37,974 --> 00:33:41,763
I'm beginning to believe in it myself
since I've met you.
528
00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:48,273
I still don't quite know what it's all about.
It confuses me, frightens me.
529
00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:51,484
But it fascinates me.
530
00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:54,029
Ninotchka...
531
00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:56,774
...do you like me just a little bit?
532
00:33:56,952 --> 00:34:00,786
Your general appearance is not distasteful.
533
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:02,617
Thank you.
534
00:34:02,791 --> 00:34:05,408
The whites of your eyes are clear.
535
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:07,792
Your cornea is excellent.
536
00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:13,332
Your cornea is terrific.
537
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:17,636
Ninotchka, tell me.
You're so expert on things.
538
00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:22,424
- Can it be that I'm falling in love with you?
- Why must you bring in wrong values?
539
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:26,436
Love is a romantic designation
for a most ordinary biological...
540
00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:28,438
...or, shall we say, chemical process.
541
00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:31,100
A lot of nonsense is talked
and written about it.
542
00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:32,814
Oh, I see.
543
00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:34,353
What do you use instead?
544
00:34:34,531 --> 00:34:39,695
I acknowledge the existence
of a natural impulse common to all.
545
00:34:39,869 --> 00:34:42,827
What can I possibly do
to encourage such an impulse in you?
546
00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:45,080
You don't have to do a thing.
547
00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:48,788
Chemically, we are already
quite sympathetic.
548
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:51,879
You are the most incredible creature
I've ever met.
549
00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:53,834
Ninotchka. Ninotchka.
550
00:34:54,009 --> 00:34:55,625
You repeat yourself.
551
00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:58,294
Yes, I'd like to say it a thousand times.
552
00:34:58,722 --> 00:35:01,134
You must forgive me
if I seem a little old-fashioned.
553
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:04,926
- After all, I'm just a poor bourgeois.
- It's never too late to change.
554
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:07,435
I used to belong
to the petite bourgeoisie myself.
555
00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:08,641
No.
556
00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:11,557
My father and mother wanted me
to stay and work on the farm.
557
00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:14,944
- But I preferred the bayonet.
- The bayonet? Did you really?
558
00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:18,151
- I was wounded before Warsaw.
- Wounded, how?
559
00:35:18,325 --> 00:35:21,158
I was a sergeant
in the Third Cavalry Brigade.
560
00:35:21,328 --> 00:35:22,944
Would you like to see my wound?
561
00:35:25,165 --> 00:35:26,906
I'd love to.
562
00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:36,961
- A Polish lancer. I was 16.
- Poor Ninotchka. Poor, poor Ninotchka.
563
00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:42,505
Don't pity me. Pity the Polish lancer.
After all, I'm still alive.
564
00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:46,766
- What kind of a girl are you, anyway?
- Just what you see.
565
00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:49,974
A tiny cog in the great wheel of evolution.
566
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:52,856
You're the most adorable cog
I've ever seen.
567
00:35:53,026 --> 00:35:55,267
Ninotchka, let me confess something.
568
00:35:55,445 --> 00:35:58,983
Never did I dream I could feel like this
toward a sergeant.
569
00:36:02,035 --> 00:36:04,151
Did you hear that?
570
00:36:06,081 --> 00:36:08,823
- It's 12:00.
- It's midnight.
571
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,368
Look at the clock. One hand has met
the other hand. They kiss.
572
00:36:12,545 --> 00:36:13,751
Isn't that wonderful?
573
00:36:13,922 --> 00:36:16,664
That's the way a clock works.
What's wonderful about it?
574
00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:18,206
Ninotchka, it's midnight.
575
00:36:18,385 --> 00:36:21,093
One half of Paris
is making love to the other half.
576
00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:23,970
You merely feel you must put yourself
in a romantic mood...
577
00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:27,553
- ...to add to your exhilaration.
- I can't possibly think of any better reason.
578
00:36:27,727 --> 00:36:31,061
- That's false sentimentality.
- Oh, you analyze everything out of existence.
579
00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:33,814
You'd analyze me out of existence,
but I won't let you.
580
00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:38,818
Love isn't so simple, Ninotchka.
Ninotchka, why do doves bill and 000?
581
00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:41,776
Why do snails,
the coldest of all creatures...
582
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:44,487
...circle interminably around each other?
583
00:36:44,661 --> 00:36:47,244
Why do moths fly hundreds of miles
to find their mates?
584
00:36:47,414 --> 00:36:50,247
Why do flowers slowly open their petals?
585
00:36:50,417 --> 00:36:55,661
Oh, Ninotchka, surely you feel some
slight symptom of the divine passion?
586
00:36:55,839 --> 00:36:59,207
A general warmth
in the palms of your hands.
587
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:02,217
A strange heaviness in your limbs.
588
00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:04,378
A burning of the lips that isn't thirst...
589
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:08,595
...but something a thousand times
more tantalizing, more exalting than thirst.
590
00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:12,097
You are very talkative.
591
00:37:21,573 --> 00:37:23,109
Was that talkative?
592
00:37:23,283 --> 00:37:25,524
No. That was restful.
593
00:37:26,453 --> 00:37:27,614
Again.
594
00:37:37,172 --> 00:37:38,754
Thank you.
595
00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:41,665
Oh, my barbaric Ninotchka...
596
00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:45,131
...my impossible, unromantic, statistical--
597
00:37:53,855 --> 00:37:54,936
Again.
598
00:37:57,233 --> 00:37:59,440
- The telephone is ringing.
- Let it ring.
599
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,228
One of your friends may be in need of you.
You must answer.
600
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:11,908
Hello.
601
00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:14,539
Yes. What?
602
00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:20,329
Oh, yes. Well, I'm sorry. I couldn't make it.
No, I ran into an old friend from the Army.
603
00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:23,625
What? The whole deal is off?
Are you crazy, Buljanoff?
604
00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:26,836
Oh, oh. A special envoy arrived.
605
00:38:27,222 --> 00:38:30,556
Hm? I'll be glad to see her
whenever she wants to.
606
00:38:31,184 --> 00:38:33,516
She doesn't want to see me?
607
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:35,848
What do you know about that? Why?
608
00:38:36,606 --> 00:38:37,937
Uh-huh.
609
00:38:38,274 --> 00:38:41,266
Well, I'll get in touch with her myself.
What's her name?
610
00:38:41,611 --> 00:38:43,272
Huh? "Ya-ku--"?
611
00:38:43,446 --> 00:38:46,609
Good heavens, these Russian names.
How do you spell it?
612
00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:50,405
"I..." Oh, "Y."
613
00:38:50,578 --> 00:38:53,912
Y-A...
614
00:38:54,082 --> 00:38:56,744
"Yakushova."
615
00:38:56,918 --> 00:38:58,784
Thanks.
616
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:08,085
Yakushova Ninotchka.
617
00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:09,799
Yes, all right, thank you.
618
00:39:20,108 --> 00:39:22,440
- Ninotchka.
- I must go.
619
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:25,443
Or should I say "Special Envoy Yakushova"?
620
00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:28,981
- Let's forget we ever met.
- No, no, no. I have a much better suggestion.
621
00:39:29,158 --> 00:39:32,776
Let's forget the telephone ever rang.
I never heard that you are Yakushova.
622
00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:36,117
You are Ninotchka, my Ninotchka.
623
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:38,373
I was sent here by my country
to fight you.
624
00:39:38,543 --> 00:39:41,956
All right, fight me as much as you want.
Only fight me tomorrow morning.
625
00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:44,963
There's nothing sweeter
than sharing a secret with an enemy.
626
00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:47,670
You represent White Russia
and I represent Red Russia.
627
00:39:47,844 --> 00:39:50,131
Tonight let's not represent anybody
but ourselves.
628
00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:51,511
It is out of the question.
629
00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:53,843
- If you wish to approach me--
- You know I want to.
630
00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:55,507
Then do it through my lawyer.
631
00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:57,722
But, Ninotchka,
you can't walk out like this.
632
00:39:57,896 --> 00:39:59,057
I am crazy about you.
633
00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:02,689
I thought I'd made an impression on you.
You liked the white of my eye.
634
00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:05,647
- I must go.
- Ninotchka.
635
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:07,652
I held you in my arms.
636
00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:10,397
You kissed me.
637
00:40:10,950 --> 00:40:14,568
I kissed a Polish lancer too...
638
00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:17,158
...before he died.
639
00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:27,997
Yes, Marianne darling.
640
00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:30,759
No, you didn't waken me.
I'm not only up, I'm on my way out.
641
00:40:30,929 --> 00:40:33,170
Yes, I want to catch Leon
before he rushes out...
642
00:40:33,348 --> 00:40:35,430
...and loses himself in my business affairs.
643
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,183
Oh, everything was going perfectly
until three days ago...
644
00:40:38,353 --> 00:40:40,765
...when some horrid female envoy
arrived from Moscow.
645
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,270
We don't know where we are.
646
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,398
I'll telephone you tonight, darling.
Goodbye, dear.
647
00:40:46,027 --> 00:40:48,769
I seem to remember
some additional injunctive provision...
648
00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:51,780
...dealing with the property of foreigners
residing in France.
649
00:40:51,950 --> 00:40:55,989
You are referring to Paragraph 598,
Section 25F of the Civil Code.
650
00:40:57,163 --> 00:41:00,155
Page 824.
651
00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:05,952
And do not fail to read the three footnotes.
While you are studying it, I will eat.
652
00:41:21,396 --> 00:41:23,728
- Where to, madame?
- Can you recommend a restaurant?
653
00:41:23,898 --> 00:41:25,809
There's Grenier if you care for seafood.
654
00:41:25,984 --> 00:41:27,600
- Where do you eat?
- At Pére Mathieu.
655
00:41:27,777 --> 00:41:29,939
- Where is that?
- It's just a place for workmen.
656
00:41:30,113 --> 00:41:32,445
- Where is it?
- Down eight blocks, rue de Provelles.
657
00:41:32,615 --> 00:41:33,946
Thank you.
658
00:41:49,215 --> 00:41:51,957
Are you alone, madame?
A nice little corner table?
659
00:41:52,135 --> 00:41:54,126
Or perhaps by the window
would be better?
660
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:55,714
This way, madame.
661
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:04,560
I think this is the first time
you've been in my place.
662
00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:06,938
Your face is new to me.
663
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:11,359
- Now what shall it be?
- Raw beets and carrots.
664
00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:13,691
Madame, this is a restaurant,
not a meadow.
665
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:16,778
Here's what we are offering today.
Please make your choice.
666
00:42:16,951 --> 00:42:20,910
I'm sure you will find something
to tempt your appetite.
667
00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:34,962
Well, for goodness sake, hello.
668
00:42:35,136 --> 00:42:37,628
It certainly is a small world, isn't it?
669
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:43,141
Well, madame, shall we start with soup?
Fish soup today.
670
00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:45,393
I got up at 5
to fish them from the Seine.
671
00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,975
- Ah, crawfish soup for me.
- Very well, monsieur.
672
00:42:48,149 --> 00:42:50,186
Then may I suggest
an omelet with mushrooms?
673
00:42:50,359 --> 00:42:52,726
Bring me something simple.
I never think about food.
674
00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:55,817
Madame, if you don't think about food,
what do you think about?
675
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:59,858
- The future of the common people.
- That's also a question of food.
676
00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:04,121
I will bring you a nice little lunch,
531 la Pére Mathieu.
677
00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:14,289
May I say something?
678
00:43:14,467 --> 00:43:16,879
You insulted him, do you know that?
You hurt his feelings.
679
00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:19,886
It's just like telling a musician
that you don't like music.
680
00:43:20,056 --> 00:43:23,765
Why, that good old man believes in food
just as you believe in Karl Marx.
681
00:43:23,935 --> 00:43:27,519
You can't go around hurting people
like that, Comrade Yakushova.
682
00:43:28,773 --> 00:43:30,764
But you can make it up to him.
Do you know how?
683
00:43:30,942 --> 00:43:33,855
By eating everything
that he brings you with relish...
684
00:43:34,028 --> 00:43:35,769
...drinking everything with gusto...
685
00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:38,564
...by having a good time
for the first time in your life.
686
00:43:38,741 --> 00:43:41,153
- I don't like you following me.
- I didn't follow you.
687
00:43:41,327 --> 00:43:43,284
- How did you get here?
- I always eat here.
688
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:44,990
This is a place for working men.
689
00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:48,577
But my dear child,
I am most at home among working men.
690
00:43:48,751 --> 00:43:51,914
I hate those places where you circulate,
the Clarence Hotel and those places.
691
00:43:52,088 --> 00:43:53,704
This is my natural element.
692
00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:56,122
After all, what are any of us?
Working men.
693
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,541
At least, those of us
who are worth our salt.
694
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,335
-Hiya!
695
00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:02,591
-Hiya!
696
00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:05,598
- Hiya.
- Hiya, boys. How's everything today?
697
00:44:05,768 --> 00:44:08,055
- Is the lunch all right?
- Fine.
698
00:44:08,229 --> 00:44:09,685
- Bring up a chair.
- I will.
699
00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:13,019
Great bunch of fellows. Aw, my friend,
I am happy to see you again.
700
00:44:13,192 --> 00:44:15,399
- I'm always glad to meet a new customer.
- Mm-hm.
701
00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:18,938
And I hope this first visit
will not be your last one.
702
00:44:19,782 --> 00:44:21,693
He's just an old man. His memory is weak.
703
00:44:21,868 --> 00:44:23,529
What are you after?
704
00:44:23,703 --> 00:44:25,944
Must one always be after something?
705
00:44:26,122 --> 00:44:29,740
Your tactics are useless.
I'm not Buljanoff, Iranoff, or Kopalski.
706
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:31,999
Ninotchka, why must we talk business?
707
00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:34,878
If you win the suit, fine.
If we win the suit, better.
708
00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:36,788
You do me an injustice.
709
00:44:37,258 --> 00:44:39,966
Ninotchka, when we first went
to my apartment...
710
00:44:40,136 --> 00:44:43,470
...did I have the slightest idea
that you were connected with this deal?
711
00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:44,674
You know now.
712
00:44:44,849 --> 00:44:47,591
I know now that you're a man
who employs business methods...
713
00:44:47,768 --> 00:44:50,226
...which in Russia
would be punished by death.
714
00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:53,313
Death. Death, always so glum.
715
00:44:54,734 --> 00:44:58,193
What about life, Ninotchka?
Do Russians never think about life?
716
00:44:58,362 --> 00:45:02,606
Of the moment in which we are living?
The only moment we ever really have.
717
00:45:02,783 --> 00:45:06,697
Oh, Ninotchka. Don't take things so seriously.
Nothing's worth it, really.
718
00:45:06,871 --> 00:45:09,363
Please, relax.
719
00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:11,201
I beg you, sergeant.
720
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,787
- Smile.
- What?
721
00:45:13,961 --> 00:45:16,874
- Will you smile?
- Why?
722
00:45:17,048 --> 00:45:19,335
- Well, just smile.
- At what?
723
00:45:19,508 --> 00:45:20,839
At anything.
724
00:45:21,010 --> 00:45:25,628
At the whole ridiculous spectacle of life,
at people being so serious...
725
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:29,424
...taking themselves pompously,
exaggerating their own importance.
726
00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:32,560
If you can't think of anything else
to laugh at, laugh at you and me.
727
00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:34,721
-Why?
Because we're an odd couple.
728
00:45:34,899 --> 00:45:37,015
Then you should go back to your table.
729
00:45:37,193 --> 00:45:39,730
No. No, I can't leave you. I won't, not yet.
730
00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:41,941
Not until I've made you laugh
at least once.
731
00:45:42,114 --> 00:45:45,232
- Ha-ha. Now go back to your table.
- Oh.
732
00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:47,025
That's not a laugh.
733
00:45:47,203 --> 00:45:49,410
I mean a laugh from the heart.
734
00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:52,368
I know.
I'm gonna tell you a funny story.
735
00:45:52,541 --> 00:45:54,407
Now, wait a minute, let me think of one.
736
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,292
Uh, I've got it.
737
00:45:56,837 --> 00:45:59,750
It seems that there were two Frenchmen
who went to America--
738
00:45:59,924 --> 00:46:01,915
On which boat?
739
00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:05,422
Let's drop it.
740
00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:08,133
I don't think you'd care very much
for that one anyway.
741
00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:10,048
Probably not.
742
00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:12,638
Here's a great one.
743
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,101
Maybe it's not so good. Let's forget it.
744
00:46:22,571 --> 00:46:24,812
- Do you like Scotch stories?
- Never heard one.
745
00:46:24,991 --> 00:46:26,322
Well, here. Ahem.
746
00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:28,654
Two Scotchmen met on the street.
747
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:30,944
And I don't know the name of the street.
748
00:46:31,122 --> 00:46:32,658
It doesn't matter anyway.
749
00:46:32,832 --> 00:46:35,950
One's name was McGillicuddy
and the other one's name was McIntosh.
750
00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:38,789
McGillicuddy said to McIntosh,
"Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy."
751
00:46:38,963 --> 00:46:41,295
And McGillicuddy--
McIntosh said to McGillicuddy:
752
00:46:41,465 --> 00:46:42,671
"Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy."
753
00:46:42,842 --> 00:46:45,550
Then McGillicuddy said to McIntosh,
"How is Mrs. McIntosh?"
754
00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:48,587
And McIntosh said to McGillicuddy,
"How is Mrs. McGillicuddy?"
755
00:46:48,764 --> 00:46:50,425
I wish they'd never met.
756
00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:53,470
So do I.
757
00:46:54,937 --> 00:46:56,519
How is this one?
758
00:46:57,023 --> 00:47:00,357
Two men are looking at the moon.
One of them says to the other:
759
00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:02,984
"Is it true that a lot of people
live on the moon?"
760
00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:05,737
The other one says,
"Sure it's true, about 500 million."
761
00:47:05,906 --> 00:47:07,817
Then the first one says:
762
00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:11,826
"Whew. They must be pretty crowded
when it's half-moon."
763
00:47:15,124 --> 00:47:16,535
Heh.
764
00:47:18,502 --> 00:47:21,494
- So you don't think that's funny?
- No.
765
00:47:21,672 --> 00:47:24,505
It seemed funny to me
when I first heard it.
766
00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:27,542
Maybe the trouble isn't with the joke.
Maybe it's with you.
767
00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:29,381
I don't think so.
768
00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:31,963
I'll give you one more chance.
769
00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:33,764
Here goes.
770
00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:36,392
When I first heard this joke,
I laughed myself sick.
771
00:47:38,898 --> 00:47:39,979
Here goes.
772
00:47:40,149 --> 00:47:42,106
A man comes into a restaurant.
773
00:47:42,276 --> 00:47:44,517
He sits down at the table
and he says, "Waiter...
774
00:47:44,695 --> 00:47:46,652
...bring me a cup of coffee
without cream."
775
00:47:46,822 --> 00:47:49,063
Five minutes later,
the waiter comes and says:
776
00:47:49,241 --> 00:47:51,653
"I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream.
Can it be without milk?"
777
00:47:55,915 --> 00:47:57,576
It's good, isn't it?
778
00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:03,419
- Not funny, huh?
- No.
779
00:48:03,589 --> 00:48:07,048
Well, it is funny.
Everybody else thought it was funny.
780
00:48:07,218 --> 00:48:09,300
Maybe you didn't get the point.
781
00:48:09,637 --> 00:48:11,093
I'll tell it to you again.
782
00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:13,425
A man comes into a restaurant.
783
00:48:13,599 --> 00:48:14,760
- Did you get that?
- Yes.
784
00:48:14,934 --> 00:48:16,015
All right.
785
00:48:16,185 --> 00:48:19,428
He sits down at the table and he says
to the waiter-- Did you get that?
786
00:48:19,605 --> 00:48:21,767
- Yes.
- It isn't funny so far, but wait a minute.
787
00:48:21,941 --> 00:48:24,649
He says to the waiter,
"Waiter, bring me a cup of coffee."
788
00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:26,981
Five minutes later,
the waiter comes and says:
789
00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:30,488
"I'm sorry, sir, we're all out of coffee."
Oh, no, you've got me all mixed up.
790
00:48:30,658 --> 00:48:33,901
Sits down at the table, says,
"Bring me a cup of coffee." That's it.
791
00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:36,365
He says,
"Bring me a cup of coffee without cream."
792
00:48:36,539 --> 00:48:38,871
Five minutes later,
the waiter comes back and says:
793
00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:42,250
"I'm sorry, sir. We have no cream.
Can it be a glass of milk?"
794
00:48:42,420 --> 00:48:44,127
Oh, you have no sense of humor!
795
00:48:45,423 --> 00:48:46,788
None whatsoever.
796
00:48:46,966 --> 00:48:49,583
Not a grain of humor in you.
There's not a laugh in you.
797
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,969
Everybody else laughs at it, but not you.
798
00:49:03,357 --> 00:49:04,813
What's so funny about this?
799
00:49:41,562 --> 00:49:45,055
In addition to the arguments above
enumerated for lifting this injunction...
800
00:49:45,232 --> 00:49:48,600
...we wish to cite the decision
of the High Court of Paris in the case...
801
00:49:48,777 --> 00:49:53,646
...of Princess Marishka against Montenegro
on the fifth day of August, 1897.
802
00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:56,816
Comparing the facts in that case
with our present set of facts...
803
00:49:56,994 --> 00:50:00,658
...we feel that the treaty between
the Republic of France and the USSR--
804
00:50:07,505 --> 00:50:09,212
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
805
00:50:09,381 --> 00:50:13,670
The other day I heard such a funny story,
heh-heh, it still makes me laugh.
806
00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:15,460
It's very funny.
807
00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:19,096
Yes, about this injunction.
808
00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:21,678
The hearing is set
for the 20th of this month.
809
00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:23,809
That's two weeks from Thursday.
810
00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:27,438
- We did our utmost to have it set ahead.
- I know, gentlemen.
811
00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:30,646
It's in the hands of the court.
We're helpless, aren't we?
812
00:50:30,819 --> 00:50:33,060
Yes, it is unfortunate.
813
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:36,527
There's nothing we can do.
Why get excited?
814
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,818
We'll leave these papers with you
for your further consideration.
815
00:50:43,832 --> 00:50:46,324
Well, that means
another two weeks in Paris.
816
00:50:46,502 --> 00:50:48,664
Too bad we have to waste all that time.
817
00:50:48,837 --> 00:50:52,705
I acted on your suggestion and got in touch
with the power and light authorities.
818
00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:55,750
Whenever you want to visit their plants,
they are open to you.
819
00:50:55,928 --> 00:50:58,545
Oh, yes, power and light. Thank you.
820
00:50:58,722 --> 00:51:01,305
There is something else
which I know will appeal to you.
821
00:51:01,475 --> 00:51:03,341
A visit to the Paris sewers.
822
00:51:03,519 --> 00:51:06,637
- They tell me it's extremely instructive.
- Oh?
823
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:09,021
Why don't you get a haircut, Buljanoff?
824
00:51:09,191 --> 00:51:11,353
You all look so wintry, comrades.
825
00:51:11,527 --> 00:51:14,110
And why do we always keep
the windows closed?
826
00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:21,359
Isn't that amazing?
827
00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:25,906
At home, there is still snow and ice,
and here, look at the birds.
828
00:51:27,543 --> 00:51:30,376
I always felt a little hurt
when our swallows deserted us...
829
00:51:30,546 --> 00:51:33,038
...in the winter for capitalistic countries.
830
00:51:33,799 --> 00:51:38,088
Now I know why. We have the high ideal...
831
00:51:38,262 --> 00:51:40,879
...but they have the climate.
832
00:51:41,807 --> 00:51:43,548
Comrades, I don't think
I need you anymore.
833
00:51:43,726 --> 00:51:46,058
- Is there anything we can do for you?
- No, not a thing.
834
00:51:46,228 --> 00:51:47,935
Would you like to go out?
835
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:50,642
- Yes, sure.
- Have you any money?
836
00:51:56,655 --> 00:51:59,238
- Here are 50 francs.
- Thank you.
837
00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:01,991
Bring me back 45.
838
00:52:03,162 --> 00:52:05,028
Yes, of course.
839
00:52:05,205 --> 00:52:07,913
- Yes, that's fine.
- Goodbye, comrade.
840
00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:17,809
- Have you the time, Gaston?
- It's 8:42, sir.
841
00:53:17,986 --> 00:53:19,772
I guess it must be 8:42.
842
00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,655
- You seem to be a bit nervous, sir.
- I am, Gaston.
843
00:53:22,825 --> 00:53:26,363
If you'll forgive me, sir,
ever since you met that Bolshevik lady...
844
00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:28,869
...I've noticed a distinct change in you, sir.
845
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:31,030
- Have you, Gaston?
- Decidedly.
846
00:53:32,501 --> 00:53:34,993
Yesterday I was greatly amazed
when I came from the market...
847
00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:37,207
...and found you had made your bed, sir.
848
00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:41,295
Yes, I felt better for it all day long.
I felt as if I'd contributed something.
849
00:53:41,802 --> 00:53:43,918
May I add, sir,
it was with great amazement...
850
00:53:44,096 --> 00:53:47,839
...that I found a copy of Karl Marx's
Capital on your night table, sir.
851
00:53:48,016 --> 00:53:52,226
That is a socialistic volume,
which I refuse to so much as dust, sir.
852
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:55,514
I view with alarm the influence over you
of this Bolshevik lady.
853
00:53:55,691 --> 00:53:57,728
But I don't follow you, Gaston.
854
00:53:57,901 --> 00:54:01,360
Isn't it about time that you realized
the unfairness of your position?
855
00:54:01,530 --> 00:54:02,895
Your being my servant.
856
00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:05,314
Wouldn't you like to stand
on an equal footing with me?
857
00:54:05,492 --> 00:54:06,527
No, sir.
858
00:54:06,702 --> 00:54:08,488
Good heavens,
isn't there any revolt in you?
859
00:54:08,662 --> 00:54:11,905
When I order you around,
don't you feel like kicking me in the pants?
860
00:54:12,082 --> 00:54:14,915
- No, sir.
- Ah, you're a reactionary.
861
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:17,827
You can't tell me
that you don't look forward to the day...
862
00:54:18,005 --> 00:54:20,337
...when you can come in here,
stand on your two feet...
863
00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:22,999
...and say, "From now on,
it's share and share alike."
864
00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:26,215
Emphatically not, sir.
The prospect terrifies me.
865
00:54:26,388 --> 00:54:28,129
Now, don't misunderstand me, sir.
866
00:54:28,307 --> 00:54:31,049
I don't resent your not paying me
for the past two months...
867
00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:34,264
...but the thought that I should split
my bank account with you...
868
00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:36,850
...that you should take
half of my life's savings...
869
00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:38,685
...that is really too much for me, sir.
870
00:54:40,819 --> 00:54:43,686
Go to bed, little father, go to bed.
871
00:55:03,175 --> 00:55:07,713
- I don't look too foolish?
- Foolish?
872
00:55:08,388 --> 00:55:11,926
If this dress were walking down
the boulevard all by itself...
873
00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:14,808
...I'd follow it from one end of Paris
to the other.
874
00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:17,060
And when I caught up with it, I'd say:
875
00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:19,973
"Wait a moment,
you charming little dress.
876
00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:24,144
I want you to meet Ninotchka.
You two were meant for each other."
877
00:55:43,841 --> 00:55:44,876
Remember this room?
878
00:55:46,802 --> 00:55:49,043
I've never been here before.
879
00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:51,679
I wonder whom you're thinking of?
880
00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:55,137
Oh, I know. The girl with the map...
881
00:55:55,310 --> 00:55:59,929
...always figuring out each step
and worrying about north and south. Heh.
882
00:56:00,524 --> 00:56:01,730
Today...
883
00:56:01,900 --> 00:56:03,356
Now, this might shock you.
884
00:56:03,527 --> 00:56:07,020
I walked up to a taxi,
I said, "88 rue du Bois"...
885
00:56:07,197 --> 00:56:08,483
...and here I am.
886
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:10,989
You see? Life can be so simple.
887
00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:14,743
- For 12 francs 75.
- Twelve seventy-five? From the Clarence?
888
00:56:14,913 --> 00:56:17,450
The son of a gun made a detour.
889
00:56:18,876 --> 00:56:20,833
But he got you here.
890
00:56:27,134 --> 00:56:29,171
It's 9100.
891
00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:30,584
Mm.
892
00:56:30,762 --> 00:56:33,470
That's when one half of Paris
says to the other half:
893
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,302
"What are you plans
for this evening, madame?"
894
00:56:36,476 --> 00:56:39,389
First, I would like to take off my hat.
895
00:56:39,563 --> 00:56:44,431
- Then, could we have some music?
- A wonderful idea.
896
00:56:45,527 --> 00:56:47,689
- Radio or records?
- Not radio.
897
00:56:47,863 --> 00:56:49,854
Let's have music that's just for ourselves.
898
00:56:53,702 --> 00:56:55,443
I'll play it very softly...
899
00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:58,238
...because I have things to tell you
which I can't shout.
900
00:57:06,465 --> 00:57:08,547
Darling, I... Oh.
901
00:57:14,264 --> 00:57:16,551
You see, I couldn't shout that.
902
00:57:17,601 --> 00:57:18,887
Oh, Leon.
903
00:57:20,145 --> 00:57:24,434
Leon, you know the jokes
you told me a few days ago?
904
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:28,146
I wake up in the middle of the night
and laugh at them.
905
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,402
You know, that's wrong.
906
00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:35,237
They aren't funny.
They're silly, they're stupid.
907
00:57:35,410 --> 00:57:37,572
And still I laugh at them.
908
00:57:37,746 --> 00:57:41,455
And when I look at Buljanoff
and Iranoff and Kopalski...
909
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:44,708
...I know they're scoundrels
and I should hate them.
910
00:57:46,004 --> 00:57:48,917
Then I realize who made them like that.
911
00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:51,958
And instead of sending my report
to Moscow...
912
00:57:52,135 --> 00:57:54,547
...I go down and buy a ridiculous hat.
913
00:57:55,514 --> 00:57:57,255
And if this keeps on...
914
00:57:58,183 --> 00:58:00,265
- Am I too talkative?
- No, no, go on.
915
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:06,271
And, Leon, I want to tell you something
which I thought I would never say...
916
00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:12,232
...which I thought nobody ever should say,
because I didn't think it exists.
917
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:20,403
And, Leon, I can't say it.
918
00:58:56,074 --> 00:58:59,032
What a gesture for a sergeant.
919
00:59:00,495 --> 00:59:03,283
- Leon, may I ask you something?
- Anything.
920
00:59:03,457 --> 00:59:05,539
If you don't want to answer, you needn't.
921
00:59:05,709 --> 00:59:09,543
- But if you do, you must tell the truth.
- I promise.
922
00:59:09,713 --> 00:59:12,375
Did you make any change in this room?
923
00:59:13,550 --> 00:59:15,166
I don't think so.
924
00:59:15,761 --> 00:59:19,675
When I was here before,
I noticed a photograph of a woman...
925
00:59:19,848 --> 00:59:22,715
...on the desk in a wide silver frame.
926
00:59:22,893 --> 00:59:27,852
I thought, what a waste of silver.
That's all I was interested in then.
927
00:59:28,023 --> 00:59:32,732
Now, I would like to know.
What happened to the woman?
928
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,461
The Grand Duchess?
929
00:59:58,136 --> 01:00:00,503
She's very attractive.
930
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:03,263
She has great elegance.
931
01:00:04,142 --> 01:00:07,009
She's what you call a woman of the world,
isn't she?
932
01:00:07,187 --> 01:00:08,598
Ninotchka.
933
01:00:09,356 --> 01:00:10,767
I love you.
934
01:00:11,399 --> 01:00:13,982
I suppose she's very entertaining.
935
01:00:14,486 --> 01:00:17,820
It must be lots of fun to be
with a woman like that, so witty and--
936
01:00:17,989 --> 01:00:19,275
Ninotchka.
937
01:00:20,117 --> 01:00:22,404
You're jealous.
938
01:00:23,370 --> 01:00:24,986
Mm-hm.
939
01:00:25,622 --> 01:00:29,866
Leon, don't ever ask me
for a picture of myself.
940
01:00:30,043 --> 01:00:32,785
I couldn't bear the thought
of being shut up in a drawer.
941
01:00:32,963 --> 01:00:37,207
- I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand it.
- Oh, my darling.
942
01:00:51,898 --> 01:00:53,605
Café de Lutéce.
943
01:00:53,775 --> 01:00:56,984
A table for tonight?
Certainly, Count d'Algout.
944
01:00:57,154 --> 01:01:01,239
What time, may I ask?
After the opera, thank you very much.
945
01:01:05,203 --> 01:01:06,534
Good evening, Your Highness.
946
01:01:06,705 --> 01:01:08,696
Good evening.
You seem to be very crowded.
947
01:01:08,874 --> 01:01:12,037
- Can you manage a table near the floor?
- Certainly, this way, please.
948
01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:14,918
- Count d'Algout made the reservation.
- Count d'Algout?
949
01:01:15,088 --> 01:01:18,251
Yes. It is only a small table,
but we will put in some extra chairs.
950
01:01:18,425 --> 01:01:19,586
No, that's another party.
951
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:21,921
Why don't we go to some other place?
It's so crowded.
952
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:25,713
No. This is glory. At last I'm going
to have a look at that female Bolshevik.
953
01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:27,302
Can you manage another table?
954
01:01:27,475 --> 01:01:29,466
- Only one in the rear, I'm afraid.
- Perfect.
955
01:01:29,644 --> 01:01:31,806
Leon's bringing
the Bolshevik you told us about?
956
01:01:31,980 --> 01:01:34,688
- Isn't it divine?
- I wouldn't have missed this.
957
01:01:34,858 --> 01:01:36,940
We must be discreet.
If she sucks her soup...
958
01:01:37,110 --> 01:01:39,397
...or drinks out of her finger bowl,
don't laugh.
959
01:01:39,571 --> 01:01:41,357
We mustn't embarrass poor little Leon.
960
01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:44,273
He's gone through enough.
We mustn't add insult to injury.
961
01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:47,113
Is this satisfactory, Your Highness?
962
01:01:47,287 --> 01:01:49,574
- Is it to be dinner, Your Excellency?
- Later perhaps.
963
01:01:49,748 --> 01:01:52,206
- We'll just start with champagne.
- Deux champagne.
964
01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:56,835
I'm only afraid the doorman may spoil
all our fun. If only he lets her in.
965
01:01:57,005 --> 01:01:59,463
- Look, there's Leon.
- Where?
966
01:02:13,021 --> 01:02:15,558
- Good evening, Count d'Algout. If you please.
- Good evening.
967
01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:20,392
General, shall we dance?
968
01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,188
- Is it dry?
- Yes, monsieur.
969
01:02:25,367 --> 01:02:29,156
- Is that right, or do you prefer it sweet?
- Oh, I wouldn't know.
970
01:02:29,329 --> 01:02:32,321
The closest I ever came to champagne
was in a newsreel.
971
01:02:32,499 --> 01:02:35,207
The wife of some president
was throwing it at a battleship.
972
01:02:35,377 --> 01:02:37,789
It's always good luck
to launch something with champagne.
973
01:02:37,963 --> 01:02:40,170
A battleship or an evening.
974
01:02:41,758 --> 01:02:45,342
It's funny to look back.
I was brought up on goat's milk.
975
01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:50,221
I had a ration of vodka in the army,
and now champagne.
976
01:02:50,392 --> 01:02:53,976
From goats to grapes.
That's drinking in the right direction.
977
01:03:13,039 --> 01:03:15,280
- It's good.
- Mm-hm.
978
01:03:25,593 --> 01:03:28,460
From what I've read,
I thought champagne was a strong drink.
979
01:03:28,638 --> 01:03:30,094
It's delicate.
980
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:32,844
Does anyone ever get drunk on this?
981
01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:36,227
Mmm, well, there have been cases.
But the headache...
982
01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:40,014
...the next morning is worthwhile
if you drink it with the right toast.
983
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:44,022
To us, Ninotchka.
984
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:52,451
Thank you, general.
985
01:03:55,498 --> 01:03:58,411
Hello, Leon! How are you, my dear?
986
01:03:58,585 --> 01:04:00,701
- Hello, Swana. Good evening, general.
- How do you do?
987
01:04:00,879 --> 01:04:03,416
Why, you're looking magnificent tonight.
Isn't he, general?
988
01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:05,456
- Thank you. Yes.
- Is this your new dress suit?
989
01:04:05,633 --> 01:04:08,170
Didn't I tell you Benson and Benson
were the tailors for you?
990
01:04:08,345 --> 01:04:09,927
- Yes, you did.
- It's a dream of beauty.
991
01:04:10,096 --> 01:04:11,427
He never takes my word.
992
01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:13,180
- But I was right, wasn't I?
- Yes.
993
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:15,637
- Am I interrupting?
- No, no, not at all.
994
01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:18,017
Your Highness,
may I present Comrade Yakushova?
995
01:04:18,188 --> 01:04:19,303
How do you do?
996
01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:21,142
- General Savitzky.
- How do you do?
997
01:04:21,316 --> 01:04:22,772
Oh, I've some wonderful news.
998
01:04:22,942 --> 01:04:25,809
- It's about Punchy. Mind if I sit down?
- No, please.
999
01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:28,103
Would you mind making my excuses
at our table?
1000
01:04:28,281 --> 01:04:30,989
- Certainly.
- Will you say I'll be back soon?
1001
01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:35,160
We can be proud of our Punchy.
He had a triumph at the dog show.
1002
01:04:35,330 --> 01:04:38,197
He won another blue ribbon
and bit the judge. Ha-ha-ha.
1003
01:04:38,375 --> 01:04:40,662
I bought him the loveliest little sweater
as a reward.
1004
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:44,294
You should see him strutting in it.
He looks like a little boulevardier.
1005
01:04:44,464 --> 01:04:46,751
You see, Count d'Algout gave me
Punchy for my birthday.
1006
01:04:46,925 --> 01:04:50,259
You must've searched for weeks
before you found Punchy...
1007
01:04:50,428 --> 01:04:52,339
- ...didn't you, Leon?
- Months, Swana.
1008
01:04:52,514 --> 01:04:55,131
Poor Madame Yakushova.
Here we are talking in mysteries.
1009
01:04:55,308 --> 01:04:57,015
I'm sure you wonder what it's about.
1010
01:04:57,185 --> 01:05:01,349
Not at all. I understand perfectly.
Count d'Algout gave you a dog.
1011
01:05:01,523 --> 01:05:06,983
- You made it very clear, madame.
- Oh, dear me. I must be losing my finesse.
1012
01:05:07,153 --> 01:05:10,111
If I'm not careful,
I'll be understood by everybody.
1013
01:05:10,281 --> 01:05:13,069
- Charming crowd here tonight, isn't it?
- I'm going, Leon.
1014
01:05:13,243 --> 01:05:17,032
But before I go, I must compliment you
on your gown, Madame Yakushova.
1015
01:05:17,205 --> 01:05:19,446
Is that what they're wearing
in Moscow this year?
1016
01:05:19,624 --> 01:05:21,456
No, last year, madame.
1017
01:05:21,626 --> 01:05:25,210
Isn't it amazing? One gets
the wrong impression of the new Russia.
1018
01:05:25,380 --> 01:05:29,169
It must be charming. I'm delighted
conditions have improved so.
1019
01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:32,300
I assume this is what the factory workers
wear at their dances?
1020
01:05:32,470 --> 01:05:36,259
Exactly. You see, it would have been
very embarrassing for people of my sort...
1021
01:05:36,433 --> 01:05:39,141
...to wear low-cut gowns in the old Russia.
1022
01:05:39,310 --> 01:05:42,769
The lashes of the Cossacks
across our backs were not very becoming.
1023
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:47,024
- And you know how vain women are.
- Yes, you're quite right about the Cossacks.
1024
01:05:47,193 --> 01:05:49,810
We made a great mistake
when we let them use their whips.
1025
01:05:49,988 --> 01:05:51,319
They had such reliable guns.
1026
01:05:51,489 --> 01:05:54,402
Will you do me a favor?
Let's not talk about the good old days.
1027
01:05:54,576 --> 01:05:57,910
It's a very wise suggestion, Leon.
I'm afraid madame and I will never agree.
1028
01:05:58,079 --> 01:06:00,411
The only thing we have
in common is our lawsuit...
1029
01:06:00,582 --> 01:06:02,573
...and that will be settled next week.
1030
01:06:02,750 --> 01:06:06,584
I understand everything
will be over by Thursday.
1031
01:06:06,754 --> 01:06:10,463
- Am I right?
- Yes. You're right, madame.
1032
01:06:11,134 --> 01:06:13,922
It'll all be over by Thursday.
1033
01:06:14,095 --> 01:06:16,507
It's too bad you have
so few more days here in Paris.
1034
01:06:16,681 --> 01:06:18,342
Be sure and redouble your efforts...
1035
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:21,383
...so madame can take some pleasant
memories when she returns to Moscow.
1036
01:06:21,561 --> 01:06:23,097
Good night.
1037
01:06:23,271 --> 01:06:25,262
- Good night, Leon.
- Good night, Swana.
1038
01:06:29,068 --> 01:06:31,810
Now I think I need a glass of champagne.
1039
01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:54,466
Quickly, please tell me
one of your funny stories.
1040
01:06:54,636 --> 01:06:55,967
- A funny story?
- Mm-hm.
1041
01:06:56,137 --> 01:07:00,096
You never finished the one about the, uh,
two Scotchmen with the names.
1042
01:07:01,100 --> 01:07:02,431
Oh.
1043
01:07:02,602 --> 01:07:03,967
Please.
1044
01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:09,018
- Well, there were two Scotchmen.
- Mm-hm.
1045
01:07:09,192 --> 01:07:11,980
One's name was McIntosh
and the other one was McGillicuddy.
1046
01:07:12,153 --> 01:07:14,736
- Mm-hm.
- They met on the street.
1047
01:07:14,906 --> 01:07:16,317
Mm-hm?
1048
01:07:16,491 --> 01:07:20,735
No, I'll tell you another story.
A much better one.
1049
01:07:21,746 --> 01:07:24,534
The only thing over on Thursday
will be the lawsuit.
1050
01:07:26,709 --> 01:07:30,373
There will be no Thursday for us.
Next week or any other week.
1051
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:34,040
I won't let it happen.
I'll tear it out of the calendar.
1052
01:07:35,677 --> 01:07:37,634
Isn't that a good story?
1053
01:07:38,888 --> 01:07:42,051
Wonderful, if one could believe it.
1054
01:07:43,393 --> 01:07:45,054
You must, darling.
1055
01:07:50,066 --> 01:07:53,980
To the loveliest story I ever heard.
1056
01:08:05,582 --> 01:08:07,243
Let's dance.
1057
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,342
Leon, something is the matter.
1058
01:08:23,516 --> 01:08:27,180
You just made that trip
from goats to grapes a little too quickly.
1059
01:08:27,353 --> 01:08:31,642
Everything is so wonderful.
It's getting farther and farther away.
1060
01:08:31,816 --> 01:08:33,602
- What, darling?
- Thursday.
1061
01:08:33,776 --> 01:08:37,110
Yes, don't worry,
everything's going to be all right.
1062
01:08:40,283 --> 01:08:42,240
Comrades! Comrades!
1063
01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:44,071
Darling, darling, please.
1064
01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:46,327
- I wanna talk to my brothers.
- Shh. Shh.
1065
01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:50,240
Don't shush me, please. I am the people.
I want to hold a speech.
1066
01:08:50,418 --> 01:08:53,376
- I want to overthrow the Grand Duchess.
- You can't do that.
1067
01:08:53,546 --> 01:08:56,664
Oh, comrades. The good people of France.
1068
01:08:56,841 --> 01:09:00,459
- Now, now, Ninotchka.
- But they're all grand duchesses here.
1069
01:09:00,637 --> 01:09:03,971
I ordered out thousands of
grand duchesses and I want to tell them.
1070
01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:07,724
Yes, dear, you're quite right.
But first, you're going through that door.
1071
01:09:07,894 --> 01:09:10,602
You're going to lie down
and take some spirits of ammonia.
1072
01:09:10,772 --> 01:09:13,230
- Oh, no speech? Oh.
- No speech.
1073
01:09:13,399 --> 01:09:15,231
I love you, my little Leonitchka.
1074
01:09:15,401 --> 01:09:18,143
And I adore you, Ninotchka.
Go ahead, now.
1075
01:09:21,407 --> 01:09:25,196
- No speech?
- No. For heaven's sake, no speech.
1076
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:33,165
- Give me a double brandy.
- Yes, sir.
1077
01:09:52,021 --> 01:09:55,730
I'm sorry, count, it is most embarrassing,
but the lady you brought with you...
1078
01:09:55,900 --> 01:09:58,938
...is spreading communistic propaganda
in the powder room.
1079
01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:00,773
What? Give me another double brandy.
1080
01:10:00,947 --> 01:10:04,235
That kind of propaganda is bad anywhere,
but inciting the attendants...
1081
01:10:04,409 --> 01:10:06,195
...of the powder room to go on strike?
1082
01:10:06,369 --> 01:10:08,781
Well, if she succeeds,
the consequences will be disastrous.
1083
01:10:08,955 --> 01:10:10,116
What can I do about it?
1084
01:10:10,289 --> 01:10:13,281
She has been asked to leave
the powder room, but without success.
1085
01:10:13,459 --> 01:10:17,123
We would appreciate it very much
if you would see to it yourself.
1086
01:10:17,296 --> 01:10:21,255
- You want me to go in there?
- I'm sorry, sir, but I must insist.
1087
01:10:49,954 --> 01:10:52,446
- Make it a triple brandy.
- Yes, sir.
1088
01:10:58,296 --> 01:11:01,755
All right,
tell the Grand Duchess. Tell everybody.
1089
01:11:01,924 --> 01:11:05,508
They know it anyway. It doesn't make
any difference. Go on, get out, get out.
1090
01:11:05,887 --> 01:11:10,097
- Don't tell them where we're going.
- No, darling, nobody will find us.
1091
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:13,884
- Are we going to build our little house?
- Yes, a little white house.
1092
01:11:14,061 --> 01:11:17,474
- No, not white.
- All right, we'll make it red.
1093
01:11:17,648 --> 01:11:22,483
No, let's not have any color.
No color. Just a "house" house. Heh.
1094
01:11:22,653 --> 01:11:25,395
- Let's form our own party.
- Right.
1095
01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:27,484
Lovers of the world, unite.
1096
01:11:27,658 --> 01:11:30,650
- And we won't stretch up our arms.
- No, no, no.
1097
01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:32,944
- And we won't clench our fists.
- No.
1098
01:11:33,122 --> 01:11:36,285
- Our salute will be a kiss.
- Yes.
1099
01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:39,159
A kiss. Salute.
1100
01:11:43,341 --> 01:11:47,300
I am so happy. Oh, I am so happy.
1101
01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:51,220
No one can be so happy
without being punished.
1102
01:11:51,390 --> 01:11:54,428
I will be punished,
and I should be punished.
1103
01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:59,142
- Leon, I want to confess.
- I know. It's the Russian soul.
1104
01:11:59,315 --> 01:12:01,226
Well, everyone wants to confess.
1105
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:04,688
And if they don't confess,
they make them confess.
1106
01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:06,899
I am a traitor.
1107
01:12:07,365 --> 01:12:10,448
When I kissed you,
I betrayed a Russian ideal.
1108
01:12:11,369 --> 01:12:13,781
I should be stood up against the wall.
1109
01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:17,073
- Would that make you any happier?
- Much happier.
1110
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:19,623
All right.
1111
01:12:57,039 --> 01:13:01,033
I've paid the penalty.
Now, let's have some music.
1112
01:13:01,210 --> 01:13:04,919
- Yes, let's turn on the radio.
- Radio? What's radio?
1113
01:13:05,089 --> 01:13:07,956
Radio's a little box that you buy
on the installment plan...
1114
01:13:08,134 --> 01:13:11,172
...and before you tune it in,
they tell you there's a new model out.
1115
01:13:11,345 --> 01:13:17,011
Oh, yes, I know where that is.
There's one around here somewhere.
1116
01:13:17,184 --> 01:13:20,222
It has a little knob that you turn.
1117
01:13:20,396 --> 01:13:23,605
- A little knob, that's right.
- Yeah. Maybe it's in here.
1118
01:13:23,774 --> 01:13:26,516
- Just a little knob.
- It's a radio and has a knob.
1119
01:13:26,694 --> 01:13:30,813
Now, maybe it's in here.
Let's see. There it is.
1120
01:13:31,157 --> 01:13:33,865
- There's the knob.
- There's the knob.
1121
01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:36,072
Now, what shall we get, the news?
1122
01:13:36,245 --> 01:13:39,954
No news. We don't want to know
what's happening in the world.
1123
01:13:40,124 --> 01:13:42,331
We want to be left alone, don't we?
1124
01:13:42,501 --> 01:13:45,038
Yes, darling, all by ourselves.
1125
01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:50,673
Then turn to the left and stop at seven.
1126
01:13:50,843 --> 01:13:54,427
Turn to the left and stop at seven.
1127
01:13:58,893 --> 01:14:01,976
- No music.
- No. No music.
1128
01:14:03,064 --> 01:14:05,852
There it is, Thursday.
1129
01:14:06,025 --> 01:14:07,811
You can't rip it out of the week.
1130
01:14:11,781 --> 01:14:13,488
There they are.
1131
01:14:13,658 --> 01:14:18,367
- They're terrible things, those jewels.
- Ooh. But big.
1132
01:14:18,537 --> 01:14:21,746
They are the tears of Old Russia.
1133
01:14:21,916 --> 01:14:25,159
- See that stone?
- Who cried that one?
1134
01:14:25,336 --> 01:14:28,954
Czar Peter gave it to his wife,
Catherine the Great.
1135
01:14:29,131 --> 01:14:32,249
For it, he sold 10,000 serfs in the market.
1136
01:14:32,426 --> 01:14:36,340
Oh, but, darling, don't get impatient.
Wait till we're married.
1137
01:14:36,514 --> 01:14:40,553
You know that worthless butler of mine,
that reactionary?
1138
01:14:40,726 --> 01:14:42,933
Someday I'll come home to you and I'll say:
1139
01:14:43,104 --> 01:14:46,768
"Darling, I drove Gaston
to the market this morning...
1140
01:14:46,941 --> 01:14:50,809
...and, ooh, look what I got for him."
1141
01:14:50,987 --> 01:14:53,274
Darling, come here. Let me put this on you.
1142
01:14:53,447 --> 01:14:57,111
- No, no, no.
- Yes, you will teach these jewels.
1143
01:14:57,284 --> 01:15:00,618
For the first time,
they will learn how they can really look.
1144
01:15:00,788 --> 01:15:05,123
- They belong to the people.
- And I give them back to the people.
1145
01:15:05,751 --> 01:15:08,709
I make you Ninotchka the Great...
1146
01:15:09,463 --> 01:15:11,420
...Duchess of the People...
1147
01:15:12,591 --> 01:15:14,798
...Grand Duchess of the People.
1148
01:15:14,969 --> 01:15:19,338
- Is this the wish of the masses?
- It is their wish.
1149
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:23,179
Thank you, Leon. Thank you, masses.
1150
01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:27,645
- Can I make a speech now?
- Please.
1151
01:15:27,815 --> 01:15:31,353
Comrades, people of the world.
1152
01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:35,486
The revolution is on the march. I know.
1153
01:15:35,656 --> 01:15:39,274
Bombs will fall, civilization will crumble...
1154
01:15:39,827 --> 01:15:42,660
...but not yet, please.
1155
01:15:42,830 --> 01:15:45,367
Wait. What's the hurry?
1156
01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:49,159
Give us our moment. Let's be happy.
1157
01:15:50,588 --> 01:15:53,580
- We're happy, aren't we, Leon?
- Yes, darling.
1158
01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:59,093
So happy and so tired.
1159
01:15:59,263 --> 01:16:00,799
Oh...
1160
01:17:00,616 --> 01:17:04,405
Smile, little father. Smile.
1161
01:17:26,934 --> 01:17:28,299
Come in.
1162
01:17:41,323 --> 01:17:44,532
- Good morning.
- What?
1163
01:17:44,702 --> 01:17:49,286
It's tomorrow morning. Tomorrow noon,
to be exact. I hope you'll forgive me.
1164
01:17:49,456 --> 01:17:53,199
I know it's extremely cruel
to awaken anyone at such an hour.
1165
01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:58,084
Don't you recognize me?
I'm the Grand Duchess Swana.
1166
01:17:59,842 --> 01:18:03,710
I know exactly how you feel, my dear.
The morning after always does look grim...
1167
01:18:03,888 --> 01:18:06,220
...if you happen to be wearing
last night's dress.
1168
01:18:06,390 --> 01:18:08,222
Don't be embarrassed by my presence.
1169
01:18:08,392 --> 01:18:11,009
You couldn't have found anyone
more sympathetic.
1170
01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:13,554
I think we can cut your visit short.
1171
01:18:13,731 --> 01:18:16,974
- Leon is not here.
- Of course not, my dear.
1172
01:18:17,151 --> 01:18:19,859
I didn't come here
with any such suspicion. How ridiculous.
1173
01:18:20,029 --> 01:18:21,645
Nor did I come to pick up his hat.
1174
01:18:23,199 --> 01:18:25,657
What is it you people always say,
regardless of what you mean?
1175
01:18:25,826 --> 01:18:27,442
"I'm delighted to have you here."
1176
01:18:27,620 --> 01:18:31,488
I haven't reached that state of civilization,
therefore I must ask you to leave.
1177
01:18:31,665 --> 01:18:35,579
Leave? That's exactly what I came here
to ask you to do. Leave.
1178
01:18:35,753 --> 01:18:39,371
I don't mean this hotel,
and I don't mean Paris. I mean France.
1179
01:18:39,548 --> 01:18:42,006
There's a plane for Moscow at 5:40.
1180
01:18:42,176 --> 01:18:44,668
Do you still think you're issuing orders
from your palace?
1181
01:18:44,845 --> 01:18:47,007
My palace in Petrograd.
1182
01:18:47,598 --> 01:18:50,010
Yes, you took that away from me.
1183
01:18:50,184 --> 01:18:53,893
You took away my czar,
my country, my people.
1184
01:18:54,063 --> 01:18:57,806
Everything I had. But nothing more.
1185
01:18:57,983 --> 01:19:00,350
People cannot be taken away, madame...
1186
01:19:00,527 --> 01:19:07,023
...neither 160 million, nor one.
Not if you have their love. You hadn't.
1187
01:19:07,201 --> 01:19:09,533
That's why you're not in Russia
any longer...
1188
01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,240
...and that's why you came here
this morning.
1189
01:19:12,414 --> 01:19:14,997
Problems were never solved
by bowing from a balcony.
1190
01:19:15,167 --> 01:19:17,875
Oh, my dear, you don't know
how impressive I could be.
1191
01:19:18,045 --> 01:19:23,459
Did you ever see me in my regalia
with my diadem and all my jewels?
1192
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:41,391
Elysée 2763.
1193
01:19:42,903 --> 01:19:44,564
Believe me, Leon can't help you.
1194
01:19:44,738 --> 01:19:46,854
He doesn't know anything
about the jewels.
1195
01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:49,273
I give you my word. I swear it.
1196
01:19:50,286 --> 01:19:51,401
Where are they?
1197
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:54,240
You were very careless
with our precious jewels, my dear.
1198
01:19:54,415 --> 01:19:57,077
They're too expensive a toy
for two children to play with.
1199
01:19:57,251 --> 01:19:58,332
Where are they?
1200
01:19:58,502 --> 01:20:01,494
Last night a very trustworthy friend
kept his eyes open.
1201
01:20:01,672 --> 01:20:04,039
He may have overstepped
his function as a waiter...
1202
01:20:04,216 --> 01:20:06,674
...but he fulfilled his duty as a Russian.
1203
01:20:07,177 --> 01:20:11,592
I just put this on for sentiment.
The rest are absolutely safe, I assure you.
1204
01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:15,053
- But if you feel like notifying the police--
- You leave me no choice.
1205
01:20:15,227 --> 01:20:17,639
Won't it be rather embarrassing
for a Soviet envoy...
1206
01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:20,145
...to disclose the circumstances
under which she lost them?
1207
01:20:20,316 --> 01:20:22,774
I'll have to face the consequences,
but so will you.
1208
01:20:22,943 --> 01:20:24,809
They'll ask you how you got them.
1209
01:20:24,987 --> 01:20:28,605
That's very simple to answer.
They were given to me by my mother.
1210
01:20:28,782 --> 01:20:30,568
They were given to her by her mother.
1211
01:20:30,743 --> 01:20:33,576
In fact, they're mine.
You can't steal what belongs to you.
1212
01:20:33,746 --> 01:20:35,703
They always belonged
to the Russian people.
1213
01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:38,956
They paid for them with their blood, their lives,
and you'll give them back.
1214
01:20:39,126 --> 01:20:42,619
I told you we had plenty to talk about.
Shall we sit down?
1215
01:20:42,796 --> 01:20:45,037
Let's free ourselves from emotionalism...
1216
01:20:45,215 --> 01:20:47,582
...and try to solve the problem
in a practical way.
1217
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:50,092
Our situation has considerably changed.
1218
01:20:50,262 --> 01:20:53,675
Before I had only a claim to the jewels.
Now I have the jewels.
1219
01:20:53,849 --> 01:20:56,841
In other words,
moral ideas have no weight with you.
1220
01:20:57,019 --> 01:20:59,602
All right, let's deal with legal facts.
You know that...
1221
01:20:59,772 --> 01:21:02,184
- ...France has recognized the Soviet.
- Unfortunately.
1222
01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:04,770
Under the Soviet law,
the jewels belong to the State.
1223
01:21:04,943 --> 01:21:08,436
- France is going to uphold that ownership.
- Yes, my lawyer agrees with you.
1224
01:21:08,614 --> 01:21:11,106
He says that France will uphold it
in every court...
1225
01:21:11,283 --> 01:21:14,867
...but I will drag you through every court,
don't forget that.
1226
01:21:15,037 --> 01:21:17,324
And when I say it will take two years...
1227
01:21:17,498 --> 01:21:20,331
...I am, as always, conservative.
1228
01:21:20,501 --> 01:21:22,617
Won't those two years in court
be expensive?
1229
01:21:22,795 --> 01:21:24,126
I know money was no object...
1230
01:21:24,296 --> 01:21:27,664
...as long as you could squeeze it out
of the pockets of the people. But now?
1231
01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:30,333
I may run out of money,
but you have run out of bread.
1232
01:21:30,511 --> 01:21:33,378
Two years is a long time
for your comrades to wait.
1233
01:21:34,556 --> 01:21:38,220
I see. You've calculated it
in terms of hunger.
1234
01:21:38,394 --> 01:21:42,012
No, I just wanted to be absolutely impartial.
1235
01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:45,227
Both of us are faced
with two rather uncomfortable years.
1236
01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:48,189
We can condense those two years
to two minutes...
1237
01:21:48,362 --> 01:21:51,275
- ...if you want to accept my proposition.
- Go on.
1238
01:21:52,533 --> 01:21:56,993
I am willing to hand over the jewels
and sign any necessary papers...
1239
01:21:57,162 --> 01:22:00,120
...if you will take that 5:40 plane to Moscow.
1240
01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:06,707
That's not the way to win him back.
Not Leon.
1241
01:22:07,381 --> 01:22:11,295
I think I know Leon quite as well as you.
Perhaps a little better.
1242
01:22:11,468 --> 01:22:12,924
Leave that worry to me.
1243
01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:17,804
Now, 5:40 leaves you time enough
to close the deal with Monsieur Mercier...
1244
01:22:17,975 --> 01:22:23,389
...but, uh, naturally,
you'll be too busy for any farewells.
1245
01:22:23,564 --> 01:22:27,478
I will see to it that everything is done
in the most expeditious manner.
1246
01:22:27,651 --> 01:22:30,268
And I will also see you to the airport.
1247
01:22:31,238 --> 01:22:33,946
That's my proposition,
Comrade Yakushova.
1248
01:22:52,968 --> 01:22:56,051
Yes? Oh, hello.
1249
01:23:05,647 --> 01:23:07,684
Yes, Leon.
1250
01:23:08,358 --> 01:23:10,770
No, you didn't waken me.
1251
01:23:10,944 --> 01:23:13,436
I'm fine, thank you.
1252
01:23:15,115 --> 01:23:18,073
Yes. Oh, yes, it was wonderful.
1253
01:23:19,495 --> 01:23:20,530
For luncheon?
1254
01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:26,408
I'm afraid I can't. I have lots of things
to attend to today, Leon.
1255
01:23:26,585 --> 01:23:28,667
I'm going to be very busy.
1256
01:23:30,255 --> 01:23:34,374
To tell you the truth,
I'm a little tired and I would like to rest.
1257
01:23:35,219 --> 01:23:36,960
Maybe you're right.
1258
01:23:37,304 --> 01:23:39,420
Perhaps it is the champagne.
1259
01:23:40,724 --> 01:23:42,135
For dinner?
1260
01:23:42,768 --> 01:23:47,137
Of course. Seven o'clock here?
1261
01:23:48,106 --> 01:23:50,313
Seven o'clock will be all right.
1262
01:23:51,985 --> 01:23:55,194
Come in. Yes.
1263
01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:57,776
Just a moment.
1264
01:23:59,618 --> 01:24:02,326
- You can leave it here.
- Yes, madame.
1265
01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:18,296
Oh.
1266
01:24:52,879 --> 01:24:55,997
Operator, will you switch the call, please?
1267
01:24:56,174 --> 01:25:00,042
Darling, your present just arrived.
1268
01:25:00,220 --> 01:25:04,259
It's very silly and very wonderful.
1269
01:25:06,476 --> 01:25:07,716
What?
1270
01:25:08,729 --> 01:25:12,472
I won't forget. Seven o'clock.
1271
01:25:14,109 --> 01:25:16,350
Goodbye, darling.
1272
01:25:16,695 --> 01:25:18,481
What?
1273
01:25:19,531 --> 01:25:20,817
Oh.
1274
01:25:21,617 --> 01:25:23,028
Salute.
1275
01:25:32,419 --> 01:25:35,457
- Good afternoon, Jacqueline.
- Good afternoon, Your Highness.
1276
01:25:35,631 --> 01:25:36,666
- Madame--
- Yes, I know.
1277
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:39,423
You didn't find my other glove.
It's all right. You're forgiven.
1278
01:25:39,593 --> 01:25:41,459
Thank you, Your Highness.
1279
01:25:41,637 --> 01:25:44,254
Count d'Algout is waiting.
He's been here for some time.
1280
01:25:44,431 --> 01:25:46,923
Oh, Count d'Algout? Yes.
1281
01:25:51,521 --> 01:25:53,432
Oh, Leon, darling. How nice.
1282
01:25:53,607 --> 01:25:56,565
- Have you ordered tea or a cocktail?
- No, thanks, Swana.
1283
01:25:56,735 --> 01:25:59,477
Did I act stupidly last night?
Should I apologize?
1284
01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:03,398
No. I'm the one who should apologize.
I should have talked to you before.
1285
01:26:03,575 --> 01:26:05,987
Is this, by any chance,
going to be a confession?
1286
01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:08,323
- Yes.
- Aw, no, no, no, my little Volga boatman.
1287
01:26:08,497 --> 01:26:10,363
Have you forgotten
our first commandment?
1288
01:26:10,540 --> 01:26:12,372
Never complain, never explain.
1289
01:26:12,542 --> 01:26:16,080
It's worked so often and so perfectly
in the past, let's not break the rule.
1290
01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:18,336
Please don't look so guilty. Otherwise, I--
1291
01:26:18,507 --> 01:26:21,875
Swana, just this once,
I must ask you to listen to me.
1292
01:26:23,011 --> 01:26:24,376
All right.
1293
01:26:27,015 --> 01:26:30,633
- I'm listening.
- I know you hate the obvious.
1294
01:26:31,144 --> 01:26:34,057
But do you mind if, for the moment,
I'm not the least subtle?
1295
01:26:34,231 --> 01:26:35,721
Brutal frankness, if you insist.
1296
01:26:37,109 --> 01:26:39,942
There are 100 ways of approaching it...
1297
01:26:40,112 --> 01:26:43,025
...but I feel it can best be said
in one simple phrase.
1298
01:26:43,198 --> 01:26:44,438
I'm in love, Swana.
1299
01:26:45,158 --> 01:26:49,368
Oh! And I thought it was something serious.
Oh, how could you frighten me so?
1300
01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:50,778
It must be serious.
1301
01:26:50,956 --> 01:26:54,449
Not so long ago I'd have considered
such a statement juvenile...
1302
01:26:54,626 --> 01:26:56,492
...and rather middle-class.
1303
01:26:56,670 --> 01:27:00,789
Now I can say it without a stammer,
without a blush.
1304
01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:02,373
I'm in love, Swana.
1305
01:27:02,551 --> 01:27:05,714
But, Leon, this has the ugly sound
of regeneration.
1306
01:27:05,887 --> 01:27:09,130
- I'm afraid that's what it is, Swana.
- Heh. Always late.
1307
01:27:09,307 --> 01:27:11,674
Same old trouble.
Whether you're taking me to the opera...
1308
01:27:11,852 --> 01:27:14,184
...or calling for me at a beauty shop,
you're never on time.
1309
01:27:14,354 --> 01:27:20,475
Now, when it's a question of your reform,
late again by about five minutes.
1310
01:27:21,570 --> 01:27:23,857
- What is this, Swana?
- Knowing the efficiency...
1311
01:27:24,030 --> 01:27:26,943
...of the French air service,
I think I can safely guarantee...
1312
01:27:27,117 --> 01:27:28,949
...Yakushova has taken off for Moscow.
1313
01:27:29,119 --> 01:27:32,703
- Has done what?
- She's gone, Leon.
1314
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:36,741
- You don't expect me to believe that?
- There's the telephone.
1315
01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:41,041
If you call the hotel,
you'll find you have no 7:00 appointment.
1316
01:27:50,015 --> 01:27:54,134
Imagine. For once in our lives
we were in Paris...
1317
01:27:54,311 --> 01:27:58,100
- ...and we never went to the Eiffel Tower.
- That's right.
1318
01:27:58,273 --> 01:28:01,686
They tell me it has a wonderful restaurant
on the second floor.
1319
01:28:01,860 --> 01:28:04,727
Yes, it is an amazing piece
of engineering...
1320
01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:08,398
...still the most remarkable
iron structure in the world.
1321
01:28:09,743 --> 01:28:10,983
Hmm.
1322
01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:13,027
Leading to the top...
1323
01:28:13,205 --> 01:28:18,198
...there is a staircase of over 1000 steps...
1324
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:23,496
...but there is an elevator included
in the price of admission.
1325
01:28:36,812 --> 01:28:40,021
Well, everything's in order,
I hope you will enjoy your trip to Russia.
1326
01:28:40,190 --> 01:28:42,898
Thank you. Oh, by the way,
I've heard so many rumors...
1327
01:28:43,068 --> 01:28:46,936
...about laundry conditions in Russia.
Is it advisable to take one's own towels?
1328
01:28:47,113 --> 01:28:49,605
Certainly not, madame.
That is only capitalistic propaganda.
1329
01:28:49,783 --> 01:28:52,070
- We change the towel every week.
- Oh, thank you.
1330
01:28:54,329 --> 01:28:56,536
Hello. Comrade Cazabine?
1331
01:28:56,706 --> 01:28:59,824
No, I am sorry.
He hasn't been with us for six months.
1332
01:29:00,001 --> 01:29:02,288
He was called back to Russia
and was investigated.
1333
01:29:02,462 --> 01:29:06,581
You can get further details from his widow.
You're very welcome.
1334
01:29:06,758 --> 01:29:09,045
Pardon me, I was interested
in what you were just saying.
1335
01:29:09,219 --> 01:29:12,507
When an envoy goes back to Russia
and they don't like what he's done...
1336
01:29:12,681 --> 01:29:14,763
- ...they put him out of the way?
- Not always.
1337
01:29:14,933 --> 01:29:17,425
Look at me. I've been back twice.
1338
01:29:17,602 --> 01:29:19,593
Here's my passport. Please give me a visa.
1339
01:29:19,771 --> 01:29:24,060
- I must leave for Russia immediately.
- Count Leon d'Algout. A count.
1340
01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:26,191
- A nobleman.
- Don't hold that against me, please.
1341
01:29:26,361 --> 01:29:28,272
Why should an aristocrat go to Russia?
1342
01:29:28,446 --> 01:29:29,982
- Business.
- What business?
1343
01:29:30,156 --> 01:29:32,989
- Private.
- There is no private business in Russia.
1344
01:29:33,159 --> 01:29:37,153
This whole thing seems very suspicious.
What is the real reason?
1345
01:29:37,330 --> 01:29:40,322
If you ever want to get into Russia,
take my advice. Confess.
1346
01:29:40,500 --> 01:29:43,083
Listen. I'll be absolutely frank with you.
1347
01:29:43,253 --> 01:29:45,961
- I have no business in Moscow.
- I think so too.
1348
01:29:46,131 --> 01:29:48,463
I want to see a friend of mine,
a very dear friend.
1349
01:29:48,633 --> 01:29:52,342
It's a personal matter that has no relation
to social philosophies or politics.
1350
01:29:52,512 --> 01:29:55,675
- It's a girl.
- It is love which drags you to Moscow.
1351
01:29:55,849 --> 01:29:57,465
- Yes.
- No visa.
1352
01:29:57,642 --> 01:30:00,509
- But I must get into that country of yours.
- Oh, no. No visa.
1353
01:30:00,687 --> 01:30:03,850
But that's impossible. You can't do it!
You haven't the right to--
1354
01:30:04,024 --> 01:30:07,608
- Listen. If you don't give me that visa--
- You're going to force us, huh?
1355
01:30:07,777 --> 01:30:10,610
You advertise all over the world
for people to go into your country.
1356
01:30:10,780 --> 01:30:12,646
When somebody tries,
you won't let them!
1357
01:30:12,824 --> 01:30:14,531
- Why should I take a chance?
- On what?
1358
01:30:14,701 --> 01:30:17,033
How do I know you don't want
to blow up a factory?
1359
01:30:17,203 --> 01:30:19,035
- What for? Why?
- Or a tunnel or bridge?
1360
01:30:19,205 --> 01:30:21,617
Nothing but suspicions.
That's the trouble with you.
1361
01:30:21,791 --> 01:30:25,455
Listen, if you don't let me in,
NI stand in front of this office of yours...
1362
01:30:25,629 --> 01:30:27,461
...and warn people to keep away.
1363
01:30:27,631 --> 01:30:31,795
I'll picket your whole country.
I'll boycott you, that's what I'll do.
1364
01:30:31,968 --> 01:30:36,428
No more vodka, no more caviar,
no more Tchaikovsky, no more borscht!
1365
01:30:36,598 --> 01:30:39,590
- Wait a minute. I've got a better idea.
- What?
1366
01:30:40,685 --> 01:30:43,268
And you can tell the Kremlin
that's just the beginning.
1367
01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:44,803
No visa.
1368
01:30:46,191 --> 01:30:48,899
March! March! March!
1369
01:30:49,069 --> 01:30:50,525
Comrades of the world...
1370
01:30:50,695 --> 01:30:53,653
...never has there been
such a May Day parade as this.
1371
01:31:38,618 --> 01:31:40,825
- Good afternoon, Anna.
- Good afternoon, Ninotchka.
1372
01:31:40,996 --> 01:31:42,157
Aren't you late?
1373
01:31:42,330 --> 01:31:45,573
No. The opera starts an hour later tonight
on account of the parade.
1374
01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:49,414
- Didn't you march today?
- They didn't let me. I'm in disgrace.
1375
01:31:49,587 --> 01:31:52,750
Last week, at the performance of Carmen,
I played a sour note.
1376
01:31:52,924 --> 01:31:54,915
The conductor got so excited, he yelled:
1377
01:31:55,093 --> 01:31:57,835
"There is sabotage in the string section!"
1378
01:31:59,222 --> 01:32:01,930
Too bad, Anna.
You missed an inspiring day.
1379
01:32:02,100 --> 01:32:05,263
Yes, I know. Are you expecting someone?
1380
01:32:05,437 --> 01:32:09,180
- A few friends. Just a small dinner party.
- And what are you serving?
1381
01:32:09,357 --> 01:32:11,974
- An omelet.
- An omelet?
1382
01:32:12,152 --> 01:32:14,439
Aren't you living a little above your ration?
1383
01:32:14,612 --> 01:32:15,898
I saved two eggs...
1384
01:32:16,072 --> 01:32:18,860
...and each of my friends is bringing his own.
We'll manage.
1385
01:32:19,034 --> 01:32:21,275
Just goes to prove the theory of our State.
1386
01:32:21,453 --> 01:32:23,740
If you stand alone, it means a boiled egg...
1387
01:32:23,913 --> 01:32:27,827
...but if you're true to the collective spirit
and stick together, you've got an omelet.
1388
01:32:28,001 --> 01:32:32,120
Heh. That reminds me. Have you heard
the latest they're telling about the Kremlin?
1389
01:32:32,297 --> 01:32:35,506
Well, one man... I'll tell you later.
1390
01:32:47,103 --> 01:32:48,343
Ah, that Gurganov.
1391
01:32:48,521 --> 01:32:51,934
You never know whether he's on his way
to the washroom, or the Secret Police.
1392
01:32:52,108 --> 01:32:54,645
- You should be more careful, Anna.
- And you too, Ninotchka.
1393
01:32:54,819 --> 01:32:57,982
- About what?
- Ever since you've been back from Paris--
1394
01:32:58,156 --> 01:33:01,274
I haven't talked to anyone about Paris.
I haven't said a word.
1395
01:33:01,451 --> 01:33:03,988
That's just it. It makes people feel queer.
1396
01:33:04,162 --> 01:33:06,153
And I don't want you to get in any trouble.
1397
01:33:06,331 --> 01:33:09,540
- I have nothing to hide.
- You should. I'll show you.
1398
01:33:10,835 --> 01:33:13,076
When I passed through
the laundry yard today...
1399
01:33:13,254 --> 01:33:17,122
...I saw all the women huddled around this,
so I brought it up here.
1400
01:33:17,300 --> 01:33:21,168
Things like this create a bad feeling.
First they didn't know whose it was...
1401
01:33:21,346 --> 01:33:24,429
...and then they saw the Paris label
and did it start a commotion.
1402
01:33:24,599 --> 01:33:26,886
Some said it's what we all ought to wear.
1403
01:33:27,060 --> 01:33:30,018
Others said it's like hanging foreign ideas
on our clothesline.
1404
01:33:30,188 --> 01:33:33,055
- It undermines our whole cause.
- I see.
1405
01:33:33,233 --> 01:33:35,725
You know how it is today.
All you have to do is wear...
1406
01:33:35,902 --> 01:33:39,236
...a pair of silk stockings,
and they suspect you of counter-revolution.
1407
01:33:39,405 --> 01:33:42,318
Thank you, Anna.
I'll dry it up here when I wash it next.
1408
01:33:42,492 --> 01:33:46,281
I should hate to see our country
endangered by my underwear.
1409
01:33:46,454 --> 01:33:50,368
Ninotchka, I'm your friend.
You can trust me.
1410
01:33:50,542 --> 01:33:53,125
- Did you bring back anything else?
- No.
1411
01:33:53,294 --> 01:33:57,128
I left everything in Paris.
I just happened to be wearing this.
1412
01:33:57,298 --> 01:34:00,086
Tell me, what else did you have?
1413
01:34:00,260 --> 01:34:03,048
Well, a hat.
1414
01:34:03,221 --> 01:34:04,882
What was it like?
1415
01:34:05,056 --> 01:34:08,970
Oh, it was very silly.
I'd be ashamed to wear it here.
1416
01:34:09,144 --> 01:34:11,681
As beautiful as that.
1417
01:34:11,855 --> 01:34:13,937
What else? Come, tell me.
1418
01:34:15,275 --> 01:34:18,893
- An evening gown.
- An evening gown?
1419
01:34:19,070 --> 01:34:21,232
Yes, it's a dress you wear in the evening.
1420
01:34:21,406 --> 01:34:23,192
What do you wear in the morning?
1421
01:34:23,366 --> 01:34:28,031
When you get up you wear a negligee,
then you change into a morning frock.
1422
01:34:28,204 --> 01:34:32,243
You mean to tell me you wear a different dress
for different times of the day?
1423
01:34:32,417 --> 01:34:35,751
- Yes.
- Now, Ninotchka, you are exaggerating.
1424
01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:40,380
No, it's true.
That's how they live in the other world.
1425
01:34:40,550 --> 01:34:43,542
Here we dress to cover up our bodies.
To keep warm.
1426
01:34:43,720 --> 01:34:45,427
And there?
1427
01:34:45,597 --> 01:34:50,340
Sometimes they're not completely covered,
but, uh, they don't freeze.
1428
01:34:51,269 --> 01:34:55,354
Oh, they must have wonderful materials
to make a thing like this.
1429
01:34:55,523 --> 01:34:57,105
So soft.
1430
01:34:57,275 --> 01:35:00,267
- Something you don't even see.
- You feel it, though.
1431
01:35:01,321 --> 01:35:05,690
Ninotchka, I wouldn't bring this up
if we weren't such good friends.
1432
01:35:05,867 --> 01:35:07,198
What is it, Anna?
1433
01:35:07,368 --> 01:35:11,111
You know I told you that Pavlov and I
are going to get married...
1434
01:35:11,289 --> 01:35:13,576
- ...when he comes back from the maneuvers.
- Mm.
1435
01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:15,491
Would it be asking too much if...?
1436
01:35:15,668 --> 01:35:17,955
- You want this?
- Just for the honeymoon.
1437
01:35:18,129 --> 01:35:20,917
- It's yours for good.
- Ninotchka.
1438
01:35:21,090 --> 01:35:22,421
Ninotchka!
1439
01:35:23,343 --> 01:35:25,630
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1440
01:35:25,803 --> 01:35:28,886
I'll never, never forget what you've done.
1441
01:35:29,057 --> 01:35:31,719
Am I going to play that cadenza tonight!
1442
01:35:45,406 --> 01:35:49,149
Individuals, yes.
As atoms in the cosmos of Soviet Russia.
1443
01:35:49,327 --> 01:35:53,911
And 30 million peasants,
85 percent of the population...
1444
01:35:54,082 --> 01:35:56,995
...Into an automobile
and the muzhtk into a tractor...
1445
01:35:57,168 --> 01:35:59,535
...and then let the capitalists try to keep--
1446
01:36:04,550 --> 01:36:05,881
No music.
1447
01:36:11,307 --> 01:36:12,923
Ninotchka!
1448
01:36:13,559 --> 01:36:18,019
Aw, Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski!
How are you, you three scoundrels?
1449
01:36:18,189 --> 01:36:19,930
Well, we are back home.
1450
01:36:20,108 --> 01:36:22,440
You know what they say,
there is nothing like home.
1451
01:36:22,610 --> 01:36:24,066
And we might as well face it.
1452
01:36:24,237 --> 01:36:27,025
Now, you mustn't talk that way,
you must adjust yourselves.
1453
01:36:27,198 --> 01:36:29,906
- Let's be brave.
- Brave, that's right.
1454
01:36:30,076 --> 01:36:32,738
- Come and sit down.
- Let's be happy that we are all alive.
1455
01:36:32,912 --> 01:36:34,073
That we owe to Ninotchka.
1456
01:36:34,247 --> 01:36:37,615
If you hadn't given Commissar Razinin
such a wonderful report about us...
1457
01:36:37,792 --> 01:36:40,284
- ...who knows what would've happened?
- I can tell you exactly.
1458
01:36:40,461 --> 01:36:42,793
Let's forget everything,
except we're together.
1459
01:36:42,964 --> 01:36:46,047
- Yes, let's do that.
- It's a real Paris reunion.
1460
01:36:46,217 --> 01:36:49,926
If you close your eyes and listen to our voices,
we might be in Paris.
1461
01:36:50,096 --> 01:36:53,634
Let's not close our eyes.
There are many good things to see here too.
1462
01:36:53,808 --> 01:36:56,140
Look how nicely
she has arranged the table.
1463
01:36:56,311 --> 01:37:00,805
Yes, how lovely. And what a wonderful room
you have here.
1464
01:37:00,982 --> 01:37:04,941
- How many families live here with you?
- Only myself and two other girls.
1465
01:37:05,111 --> 01:37:08,194
One is a cello player,
and the other's a streetcar conductor.
1466
01:37:08,364 --> 01:37:13,575
- Just three people in a room this size? Ooh.
- Buljanoff, look here.
1467
01:37:13,745 --> 01:37:15,406
- Isn't that wonderful?
- Look at this.
1468
01:37:15,580 --> 01:37:18,618
- What good material.
- Naturally, it's not the royal suite.
1469
01:37:18,791 --> 01:37:21,658
Comrades, once and for all,
we are in Moscow.
1470
01:37:21,836 --> 01:37:25,329
Yes, there's no doubt of that.
Just look out of the window and there it is.
1471
01:37:25,506 --> 01:37:26,792
And it's great.
1472
01:37:26,966 --> 01:37:30,004
Think what it was a few years ago
and what it is now.
1473
01:37:30,178 --> 01:37:32,089
It's a tremendous achievement.
1474
01:37:32,263 --> 01:37:34,721
- You must be reasonable, comrades.
- She is right.
1475
01:37:34,891 --> 01:37:36,632
Anyhow, let's talk ourselves into it.
1476
01:37:36,809 --> 01:37:40,598
All right. It's great.
It's marvelous. It's wonderful.
1477
01:37:40,772 --> 01:37:42,809
Just see how happy the people look
from here.
1478
01:37:42,982 --> 01:37:45,565
Can you blame them?
At least the May Day parade is over.
1479
01:37:45,735 --> 01:37:47,521
That's another thing. It's spring.
1480
01:37:47,695 --> 01:37:50,403
The same spring we had in Paris.
Just as good.
1481
01:37:50,573 --> 01:37:52,655
- Even the swallows are back.
- Really?
1482
01:37:52,825 --> 01:37:57,240
Yes, that's right. Maybe it's
the same swallow we saw in Paris.
1483
01:37:57,413 --> 01:38:00,075
Yes, it is, Ninotchka. It is.
1484
01:38:00,249 --> 01:38:03,287
He must have been in Paris.
You can see it in his whole attitude.
1485
01:38:03,461 --> 01:38:07,045
He picked up a crumb of our black bread,
shook his head and dropped it.
1486
01:38:07,215 --> 01:38:10,628
We must be patient.
Finally we got the spring, didn't we?
1487
01:38:10,802 --> 01:38:13,339
Oh, let's forget the future.
Let's stop being sentimental.
1488
01:38:13,513 --> 01:38:15,880
- Let's start that omelet.
- That's right.
1489
01:38:16,057 --> 01:38:18,799
- Here is my egg.
- And here is mine.
1490
01:38:18,976 --> 01:38:20,592
And here are mine.
1491
01:38:20,770 --> 01:38:23,853
I don't know, where's my egg?
I had an egg too.
1492
01:38:25,817 --> 01:38:28,024
Comrades, I am out of the omelet.
1493
01:38:28,194 --> 01:38:30,231
- Don't worry, there'll be enough.
- Of course.
1494
01:38:30,405 --> 01:38:32,612
- Thank you.
- Now come over here.
1495
01:38:33,866 --> 01:38:36,858
Come, Ninotchka,
let's make it in real Parisian style.
1496
01:38:37,036 --> 01:38:39,903
- Yeah.
- Let's fill it with comfiture des prunes.
1497
01:38:52,885 --> 01:38:54,626
A man like that...
1498
01:38:54,804 --> 01:38:58,138
...all he has to do is walk through a room
and the omelet drops.
1499
01:38:58,307 --> 01:38:59,513
Yes.
1500
01:39:01,060 --> 01:39:02,846
♪ Paris
1501
01:39:03,020 --> 01:39:05,808
♪ I still adore you
1502
01:39:05,982 --> 01:39:07,598
♪ Adore you, ha-ha-ha
1503
01:39:07,775 --> 01:39:10,392
♪ Paris
1504
01:39:10,570 --> 01:39:12,732
♪ I'm longing for you
1505
01:39:12,905 --> 01:39:15,112
♪ For you, for you, Paris
1506
01:39:15,283 --> 01:39:17,524
♪ For you
1507
01:39:17,702 --> 01:39:20,911
♪ I left my heart my with you
1508
01:39:22,248 --> 01:39:25,036
♪ - For you
- Shh.
1509
01:39:47,148 --> 01:39:50,140
Comrade Yakushova, here,
the postman left this letter for you.
1510
01:39:50,318 --> 01:39:52,605
Thank you, Vladimir. Thank you.
1511
01:39:59,368 --> 01:40:02,156
- What is it, Ninotchka?
- Ninotchka, what is it?
1512
01:40:02,330 --> 01:40:03,912
- It's from Paris.
- From Paris?
1513
01:40:04,081 --> 01:40:05,742
- A bill?
- From Leon.
1514
01:40:05,917 --> 01:40:07,783
- From Leon?
- How is he, tell us?
1515
01:40:07,960 --> 01:40:09,997
Shh!
1516
01:40:45,706 --> 01:40:46,946
Bad news?
1517
01:41:12,900 --> 01:41:15,733
- Well, I think it's getting late.
- Hmm.
1518
01:41:17,530 --> 01:41:19,396
Good night, Ninotchka.
1519
01:41:20,199 --> 01:41:22,315
Thanks for a wonderful dinner.
1520
01:41:25,371 --> 01:41:27,612
- Good night, Ninotchka.
- Good night.
1521
01:41:28,416 --> 01:41:29,747
Good night.
1522
01:41:33,254 --> 01:41:36,963
They can't censor our memories, can they?
1523
01:41:37,133 --> 01:41:38,373
No.
1524
01:42:13,836 --> 01:42:14,871
Come in.
1525
01:42:22,928 --> 01:42:25,920
- Good morning, comrade.
- Good morning, Comrade Commissar.
1526
01:42:26,098 --> 01:42:29,682
Here's my report on materials available
for trading in the next four months.
1527
01:42:29,852 --> 01:42:32,184
Does it include the products
of the far eastern provinces?
1528
01:42:32,355 --> 01:42:35,473
- Yes, it does. Yes.
- You've finished the whole investigation?
1529
01:42:35,650 --> 01:42:38,062
That's marvelous.
You must have worked day and night.
1530
01:42:38,235 --> 01:42:40,897
- Don't you ever sleep?
- I need very little sleep.
1531
01:42:41,072 --> 01:42:44,110
We must be extremely careful
what goods we take in exchange.
1532
01:42:44,283 --> 01:42:47,025
I have already started a survey
on our most urgent needs.
1533
01:42:47,203 --> 01:42:51,288
Comrade, I am afraid you will have
to turn over that work to someone else.
1534
01:42:51,457 --> 01:42:53,198
May I ask why?
1535
01:42:53,376 --> 01:42:55,868
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.
1536
01:42:56,045 --> 01:42:58,036
Now, comrade, have you heard
from your friends...
1537
01:42:58,214 --> 01:42:59,955
...Kopalski, Buljanoff, and Iranoff?
1538
01:43:00,132 --> 01:43:01,463
- No.
- I haven't either...
1539
01:43:01,634 --> 01:43:03,966
...but I have heard about them.
You must realize...
1540
01:43:04,136 --> 01:43:08,050
...it was on the strength of your Paris report
that I sent them to Constantinople.
1541
01:43:08,224 --> 01:43:10,386
Without that,
I never would have trusted them...
1542
01:43:10,559 --> 01:43:14,143
- ...on a mission as important as a fur deal.
- May I ask what has happened?
1543
01:43:14,313 --> 01:43:17,647
If I told you what's going on
in Constantinople right now...
1544
01:43:17,817 --> 01:43:19,273
...you wouldn't believe it.
1545
01:43:19,443 --> 01:43:21,855
They are sitting there, those three,
for six weeks...
1546
01:43:22,029 --> 01:43:26,318
...and haven't sold a piece of fur.
This anonymous report was sent to me.
1547
01:43:26,492 --> 01:43:30,486
They are dragging the good name of our
country through every cafe and nightclub.
1548
01:43:30,663 --> 01:43:34,998
Here. "How can the Bolshevik cause
gain respect among the Moslems...
1549
01:43:35,167 --> 01:43:39,661
...if your three representatives, Buljanoff,
Iranoff, and Kopalski, get so drunk...
1550
01:43:39,839 --> 01:43:42,456
...that they throw a carpet
out of their hotel window...
1551
01:43:42,633 --> 01:43:45,125
...and complain to the management
that it didn't fly."
1552
01:43:45,302 --> 01:43:47,259
Unbelievable! It's an outrage.
1553
01:43:47,847 --> 01:43:51,806
They shouldn't do such things.
Are you sure this report's correct?
1554
01:43:51,976 --> 01:43:55,514
Naturally, I want to verify it,
and that's why I need you.
1555
01:43:56,230 --> 01:43:59,848
- You want me to go to Constantinople?
- Yes, leaving immediately.
1556
01:44:00,025 --> 01:44:02,357
I appreciate your confidence in me...
1557
01:44:02,528 --> 01:44:05,486
...but I must ask you
to entrust someone else with this mission.
1558
01:44:05,656 --> 01:44:07,863
I should hate to interrupt
my present work.
1559
01:44:08,033 --> 01:44:10,195
I am positive my survey
is more important...
1560
01:44:10,369 --> 01:44:13,202
...than finding out whether
three of our comrades have been...
1561
01:44:13,372 --> 01:44:15,363
...drinking some extra glasses
of champagne.
1562
01:44:15,541 --> 01:44:17,532
That is for me to decide,
Comrade Yakushova.
1563
01:44:17,710 --> 01:44:21,874
I am sorry.
I don't want to overstep my position...
1564
01:44:22,047 --> 01:44:25,540
...but please don't send me.
Please, comrade, let me stay here.
1565
01:44:25,718 --> 01:44:28,301
Let me finish my work.
I'm in the rhythm of it now.
1566
01:44:28,471 --> 01:44:29,802
I don't want to go away.
1567
01:44:29,972 --> 01:44:32,680
I don't wanna be sent
into that foreign atmosphere again.
1568
01:44:32,850 --> 01:44:34,090
It throws you out of gear.
1569
01:44:34,268 --> 01:44:37,886
Let me finish my work.
I have concentrated everything in it.
1570
01:44:38,063 --> 01:44:40,145
Please don't make me go.
1571
01:44:40,316 --> 01:44:45,355
Don't waste my time, comrade.
Do your duty. Goodbye.
1572
01:44:45,529 --> 01:44:47,315
I shall do my best.
1573
01:45:29,365 --> 01:45:32,198
How do you like it, Ninotchka?
Isn't it wonderful?
1574
01:45:32,368 --> 01:45:35,360
- Tell us, Ninotchka.
- Buljanoff, Iranoff, Kopalski--
1575
01:45:35,538 --> 01:45:37,905
Now, please don't start
figuring it out in cows.
1576
01:45:38,082 --> 01:45:41,871
You've done it again, and I'm responsible.
How can you forget yourselves this way?
1577
01:45:42,044 --> 01:45:44,285
You were sent here to make money,
not to spend it.
1578
01:45:44,463 --> 01:45:47,000
Buljanoff, she still has
those old-fashioned ideas.
1579
01:45:47,174 --> 01:45:49,711
- It is high time she got out of Russia.
- Comrades.
1580
01:45:49,885 --> 01:45:52,547
- I must be stem with you.
- That's our old Ninotchka.
1581
01:45:52,721 --> 01:45:57,136
Don't forget the day will come
when you will have to face Razinin.
1582
01:45:57,309 --> 01:45:59,801
Ninotchka! Razinin?
1583
01:45:59,979 --> 01:46:03,973
Good old Razinin. Is he still alive?
How does he manage?
1584
01:46:04,149 --> 01:46:07,187
- Comrades--
- Friends, Ninotchka, we are friends.
1585
01:46:07,361 --> 01:46:09,568
Imagine, we don't have
to whisper anymore.
1586
01:46:09,738 --> 01:46:11,354
No. We can say whatever we want.
1587
01:46:11,532 --> 01:46:14,775
We can shout, we can complain. Look.
1588
01:46:17,580 --> 01:46:20,197
The service in this hotel is terrible!
1589
01:46:21,834 --> 01:46:25,668
See? Nobody comes,
nobody pays any attention.
1590
01:46:25,838 --> 01:46:28,421
- That's freedom.
- That's bad management.
1591
01:46:28,591 --> 01:46:31,299
Is it possible to bring you back to reality
for one moment?
1592
01:46:31,468 --> 01:46:34,085
I must have a complete report
of your negotiations...
1593
01:46:34,263 --> 01:46:37,426
- ...and a detailed expense account.
- No, no, Ninotchka, don't ask for it.
1594
01:46:37,600 --> 01:46:39,432
There is a Turkish proverb which says:
1595
01:46:39,602 --> 01:46:41,934
"If something smells bad,
why put your nose in it?"
1596
01:46:42,104 --> 01:46:43,560
There is an old Russian saying:
1597
01:46:43,731 --> 01:46:46,894
"The cat who has cream on his whiskers
had better find good excuses."
1598
01:46:47,067 --> 01:46:48,728
With our cream situation as it is...
1599
01:46:48,903 --> 01:46:51,190
...it's Russia that should apologize
to the cats.
1600
01:46:51,363 --> 01:46:54,230
I don't know how I can
get you out of it this time.
1601
01:46:54,408 --> 01:46:55,648
How will it end?
1602
01:46:55,826 --> 01:46:57,408
- Shall we tell her?
- Yes.
1603
01:46:58,621 --> 01:47:01,784
- Ninotchka, I hope you'll be our guest.
- Guest?
1604
01:47:01,957 --> 01:47:05,575
- Yes, we have opened a restaurant.
- A restaurant?
1605
01:47:05,753 --> 01:47:08,120
We have a wonderful electric sign:
1606
01:47:08,297 --> 01:47:10,584
"Dine with Buljanoff, Iranoff,
and Kopalski."
1607
01:47:10,758 --> 01:47:12,840
You mean you're deserting Russia?
1608
01:47:13,010 --> 01:47:17,628
Ninotchka, don't call it desertion.
Our little restaurant, that is our Russia.
1609
01:47:17,806 --> 01:47:21,015
The Russia of borscht,
the Russia of beef Stroganoff.
1610
01:47:21,185 --> 01:47:24,473
- Of blinis and sour cream.
- The Russia of pirozhki.
1611
01:47:24,647 --> 01:47:28,060
- People will eat and love it.
- We are not only serving good food...
1612
01:47:28,233 --> 01:47:31,100
...we are serving our country.
We are making friends.
1613
01:47:31,278 --> 01:47:34,737
Who gave you this idea?
What's responsible for all this?
1614
01:47:34,907 --> 01:47:38,616
There is something in Constantinople,
something irresistible.
1615
01:47:38,786 --> 01:47:41,027
It's in the air.
It may come around the corner...
1616
01:47:41,205 --> 01:47:44,163
- ...when you walk down the street.
- It may step out of a bazaar.
1617
01:47:44,333 --> 01:47:48,042
It may be waiting for you in a corridor.
It may hide in the shadow of a minaret.
1618
01:47:48,212 --> 01:47:50,294
And right now it's on the balcony.
1619
01:47:55,594 --> 01:47:57,835
They wouldn't let me in,
so I had to get you out.
1620
01:48:02,309 --> 01:48:03,970
Leon.
1621
01:48:04,478 --> 01:48:06,060
Ninotchka.
1622
01:48:06,230 --> 01:48:11,019
So you're behind all this.
I should have known.
1623
01:48:28,836 --> 01:48:31,203
Trying to keep me away from you.
1624
01:48:31,588 --> 01:48:33,795
As though that were possible.
1625
01:48:34,383 --> 01:48:38,547
Naturally, I couldn't go on forever
punching passport officials in the nose...
1626
01:48:38,721 --> 01:48:40,462
...but I found a way, didn't I?
1627
01:48:40,639 --> 01:48:43,176
Oh, darling, I had to see you.
I wrote and wrote.
1628
01:48:43,350 --> 01:48:44,806
All my letters came back to me.
1629
01:48:44,977 --> 01:48:47,639
And the one I got,
they wouldn't let me read.
1630
01:48:47,813 --> 01:48:50,680
It began, "Ninotchka, my darling"...
1631
01:48:50,858 --> 01:48:53,395
...and it ended "Yours, Leon."
1632
01:48:54,528 --> 01:48:57,020
I won't tell you what came between.
1633
01:48:57,197 --> 01:48:59,359
I'll show you, I'll prove it.
1634
01:49:00,659 --> 01:49:03,026
But it'll take a long time, Ninotchka.
1635
01:49:03,912 --> 01:49:05,152
At least a lifetime.
1636
01:49:06,999 --> 01:49:10,708
Oh, but, Leon, I'm only here for a few days.
1637
01:49:10,878 --> 01:49:15,247
All right, if you don't stay with me,
then I'll have to continue my fight.
1638
01:49:15,424 --> 01:49:17,756
I'll travel wherever
there are Russian commissions.
1639
01:49:17,926 --> 01:49:20,668
I'll turn them all into Iranoffs,
Buljanoffs, and Kopalskis.
1640
01:49:20,846 --> 01:49:22,837
The world will be crowded
with Russian restaurants.
1641
01:49:23,015 --> 01:49:24,722
I'll depopulate Russia.
1642
01:49:25,392 --> 01:49:30,432
Comrade, once you saved
your country by going back.
1643
01:49:30,606 --> 01:49:32,847
This time you can only save it
by staying here.
1644
01:49:35,277 --> 01:49:38,486
Well, if it is a choice
between my personal interest...
1645
01:49:38,655 --> 01:49:42,523
...and the good of my country,
how can I waver?
1646
01:49:42,701 --> 01:49:46,820
No one shall say Ninotchka
was a bad Russian.
1647
01:49:46,997 --> 01:49:48,453
Darling.